Job Ad Definitions



Advancement opportunity:
Crap job.

Entry level:
Really crap job.

No experience necessary:
The mother of all crap jobs.

Administrative assistant:
Crap job with a title.

Ground floor opportunity:
Crap job with a company that will file bankruptcy within a year.

Progressive company:
Employees get to wear jeans every other Friday.

Team player:
Must deal with dangerously territorial co-workers with rabid
personalities.

Upbeat personality:
Must neither threaten us with any kind of lawsuit nor use the drug & alcohol rehab benefit within the first year.

Word processing skills essential:
There's a crippling case of carpal tunnel syndrome in your
future.

Public relations:
Receptionist

Professional appearance important:
$20K/yr job that requires a $100K/yr wardrobe