sometimes i wonder if i am going to remain like this forever.

and today happens to be one of those times.

i am comfortable with where i am, but is this where i want to stay permanently?

where do i wanna go?

what do i wanna do?

what is important to me?

and one question that was asked repeatedly to me today...does it tie in with my aspirations? and i knew i was at a loss. what aspirations were i looking at? hobby-wise... or career-wise?

i know there is hardly a way to tie both together. i have 2 different lives, and they are really as different as each can be. i'm so afraid that either will eat up the other one, and i'm having a pretty good balance right now. but what i want to proceed as a step further in the future may prove to disrupt this balance. do i want that?

i feel like i'm just waiting and waiting. for something. something. but that something will probably never happen.

also polished up on the tip of my blade for tales. added that little golden tip, and managed to stuck all the patterns on with zera's wonderful double sided tape. hehe

progress for ragnarok over the weekend... i think i accomplished quite a lot. my only problem was i was watching chuno halfway and the disc stopped working T_T so i switched to watching the last disc of Baker Kim Tak Gu instead (and finished it hahaha)

ok coat first (wasn't done over the weekend, but just a late update). sewed all the bias tape outline...



then i stuck extra layers for the guards for the armour



and another layer - can you spot the difference?



also connected all the different parts and stuck on velcro.

worked on the shoulder guards too and sewed (YES, SEW) all those triangles on - it figures sewing will give a better 'grip' than hotgluing. think i took half a day to sew them on and kept poking myself T_T



lastly, the sword!!! i spent another half a day (on sat) gluing all those petals on... only to realise that they were supposed to be crystals as informed by benj T_T wahlao, no turning back.. gotta see what i can do to make 'em shine...



and kangaroo glue is horrible, i kept getting them all over my hands and have to take half an hour to peel them off each time. i'm kinda getting used to the smell though - is that a good thing...!?

ughhh i smelt glue the whole of sunday. i think my brain is 20% damaged now.

so results of my brain wreck, and i had to spend like half an hour washing all the glue bits off my hands. urghhh:

many many small triangles



which eventually became trapeziums



all the leg guards sewn with velcros (i actually used cloth hard lining for these instead of foam cos my foams were too small lol. may have to stack the patterns again)





all the handguards. the patterns were clearer for this, hmmm.



and the finger bits...



which i glued onto my gloves. it was an OUCH experience. hot glue is very hot you know, but i don't have a hand model... x_x



oh yeah i was watching chuno ep 17 behind. hurhur. finished my nappeun namja... stupid ending. URGHHH he didn't have to die you know!!!! :(

still lacking shoulder guards... bleahs

pandora's box (saint seiya) shopping list

epoxy putty: $4.80
thick wires: $2
kangaroo glue: $8
brush: $0.50
foam boards: $5*3 = $15
zera-tool: $50

total: $80.30

this is one day of hari raya hard work.

newspaper templates first followed by tracing onto the foams and cutting all the armour part designs out.

but at least i was watching nappeun namja 나쁜남자. kim nam gil 좋아!

i'm making a suit myself!

lycra is really hard to estimate. when i followed the templates... the outcome was the size for the leg is suitable for the size of my arms, and the size for the arms... is well, not suited anywhere else. had to redo some parts and add extensions to the top. but otherwise... yes! i got the whole set!



i even made gloves.. hurhur. though it looks ugly. had to do it twice because the initial measurements didn't fit well. who has a pair of hands that's smaller than mine and needs orange gloves, i have a spare... haha.

spent about 2+ hours to style grell's wig because i didn't have a proper stand so it keeps falling over. sighs...



and i got the specs but it's not the exact same shape. arrghhh whatever, because the shape changes in different pictures too. bleahs!



redid the vest because the bottom is supposed to be a straight edge.

here's a basic cape for richard



his tie around the neck



and the pants. err it should be more shapely, but i was lazy since it's gonna be tucked in anyway. and it's a bit small... damn.



attached the inner sleeves. now my jacket has lining (because it is required!)



and made the frills too



some more patterns for the rest of the jacket



and i modified this belt from an existing one i had. just cut the shape and attached a leftover leather i had to the bigger part, then blue lining.



the accessories are made outta foam and attached via the tack like clips i used for iljimae/ hotglue. easy.



here's the basic structure of the boots cover. haven't sewn it yet. wore the boots on me feet and stitched around it so it would fit nicer.. i hope



and lastly! pvc for the sword!



using my newly found material (car sticker) from korea, i lined the whole blade with the shiny thing



then pvc for the hilt patterns, which i used white acrylic on it first, then spray painted it cold and finally a coating spray.
hotglued them on, but doesn't seem strong enough. have advice from zerar that i should use super glue... oh by the way the whole pvc idea was zerar's - he seemed to have calculated some impossible physics for making a lightweight weapon outta this material. pure genius.



and i did all my stuff while watching kim soo ro and nappeun namja. yes, managed to finish kim soo ro... whooo!

shio's weapon is a mess.

i tried the pvc method with it



and even painted 2 coats of acrylic



but i decided that it's not nice at all...

so i went back to the previous weapon and covered it with tissues for the 'feel and texture'



but it just looks horrible up close.

so i tore the whole thing away back to the basic structure, and wrapped it with 5 rolls of beige cloth tape i found around my house



then i painted 2 coats of white acrylic over and shaded some inner areas



finished it off with a lacquer coating. looks decent now, but still ridiculous up close.

whatever



i'm sick of the weapon. it's so sticky now. bleah. and the paint peels when it sticks to something. final touch... baby powder...!?!

updates on pandora!

using the newly found lace from korea, i managed to complete her gloves.



then i worked on the pvc method for her spear. not too bad.

Day 4

I woke up around 730 to get ready to leave, and shopped around myeongdong, dongdaemon flea market and a bit of namdaemon before I went back tothe hostel. I guess I didn't really sleep well because I was still clueless as to what we will be doing, and guilty at having cancelled all the previous plans made with Mk, Byeolyi, Daeyoung, Shawn and Eric (T . T) I'm so sorry, 미안해... I really want to go lotte world (and many other reasons)

took the bus schedule down when i passed by it just in case. yes i don't plan everything in advance hahahah



I passed by the flea market and chanced upon a seaweed shop, and thought I'll just get them here and the aunties were so friendly to me and gave me honey drink, but i realized later that the price ere is almost twice that you can get at supermarket, and I got cheated! Pui. And the next store I entered selling jackets was even worse, a random jacket that I picked costs about 530,000won, and I almost fainted (that's 600+sgd mind you) although the store owners were fantastically friendly and I really like the jacket, I definitely couldn't afford that much... I did come across other stores selling cheaper products for the cosmetic range and immediately grabbed them (must have been in a rampage to complete my unfinished shopping list) when i finished shopping it was around 11plus and I climbed the tall hilly back to see the couple leaving house.

Collected yesterday's spoils and started to pack them, before I went out to meet 0 and gogi dinosaur around 12plus, where I sort of made a wrong turn and end up at the wrong place, and went to the wrong exit and didn't know how to get to the correct exit. 0 called and spoke Korean to me and I was just stunned there (ok I knew he was asking me if I've eaten and all but I think I was temporarily bewitched). Then I proceeded to find exit 3 where they were supposed to be at but I couldn't find! Called for help, and they came over in less than a minute. Baka! I was just that close only!!! ！(◎_◎;) 我好失败. To think I walked this place just jn the morning only ugh

So anyway we went to lotte world - It was about half an hour ride with a single transfer, and Jimin gave me a coffee baba! Wahahahahaha just what I have been craving for since I came Korea. French vanilla flavor was awesome.



When we were at lotte they told me that they were going to be paying for everything today - holy cow wth!? Seriously, over hospitality is making me more embarrassed by the minute... I understand like a treat or what but the whole day is... Too extreme... And actually I didn't want to be treated like a guest, because I thought I was gonna be visiting Korea pretty often, and it's just not right for them to spend like this if I'm gonna be here all the time. Sighs... Guess I'm gonna have to think of ways to return this huge favor... I somehow get the feeling they are returning the hospitality shown by Tkh and steph when they were in Singapore and I felt like I shouldn't be the one deserving it...

Well since I tried about 15,000 times to say no and was rejected, go figure I should just indulge in being treated like a princess then!





i like this mask statue



didn't take this because it kept going round and round, think i'll puke



We started off with the inner theme park but there was a halloween parade going on so we stood to watch for a while.



hey i realised i took a row of heads! didn't mean to lol



more halloween parade





nothing to do, so pictures! jimin took this and he said very nice! (not nice la, look at the sunlight, aiyoh. bishh)



i think this photo that 0 took is nicer. whatever it is i look sucky in both. T___T



before we went for the first stop - sinbad's adventure. Both of them agreed that it was going to be a boring ride but they said we should start with something gentle before we move to the scarier ones. Hmmm, worried I'll puke at the start maybe!





nothing to do during the ride, it was slow and unsurprising so i snapped lots of photos instead







look, kong yong!



Anyway they told me that they used to come here almost everyday when they were back studying since they had some kinda pass but after that didn't frequent that often anymore. The whole place actually looks pretty familiar to me and I realize that o actually came here before about 10 yeas ago!! I can't believe I forgot about here so fast though...
After we took the Viking, we headed out to magic island to take the gyro swing (which was suppose to be a bigger version of Viking).



i took a creepy and cool photo of them while queuing, look at the darkness in their looks...



The wind was super cold but the feeling was so super shiok when you ride the swing!!



Since dino was feeling hungry we stopped for some hotdogs. I had a bulgolgi dog which is sweet and tasted damn nice ☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆



I noticed that 0 didn't sit down, and he said it's cos it's so cold, but when he sat down he spilled the cider and Dino kept laughing at him. While laughing Dino dropped his hotdog toppings twice (it went like plop... Plop...!) ad 0 laughed back at him because Dino got his retribution!! And I prayed I wouldn't drop mine because I laughed at both of them (＞人＜;)

Had a cinnamon pancake on our way in too. lovely...!



and queued for the indoor roller coaster finally whole eying some fry-like squid sticks (I think both of them are kong yongs actually) - and 0 joked about how dino's head and upper body is all made up of stomach 위 and he has no brains since he ate so much, while Dino got back at him by saying 0 is an uncle since he's almost 30 years old. 0 then say that Dino will be uncle too 'next next next year' hahahah gosh and dino just gave a 'next next next year!? Wth you're still the uncle' look ＿|￣|○ oh, and we saw a very funny graffiti here saying 'Seulgi I love you!' and someone replied 'get out' at the bottom. Rocks!!

I sat with 0 for the ride (hmm somehow Jimin made him do it!?) and we caught 0's priceless expression camera. they all knew where the cameras were to prepare for their expression anyway!!



Went on a lot of other rides (the water rides were awesome, no queue for one of them!). we were just trying to avoid the water splashing on us and made a lot of noise when it kept turning and turning. wth...



and oh, this place was where the staircase to heaven was filmed!! this was the skating rink



and there's a memorabilia stand here too



as well as the merry go round the lovers rode in. i don't like merry go rounds, didn't take it



lotte world from 2nd floor here



passed by a photo attraction where you could climb in the bendy bars. after taking the photo 0 walked out, and then he walked back in.. because he left his bag inside!!! so blur. hahahahah. and he thought we didn't notice. lol.



we waited until Taeyang came to join us. Somehow I think they were sort of relieved because now we have someone much better at Japanese and English to help (^^;; Taeyang gave me a dongbangshinki poster and natural republic lipgloss (#^.^#) 감사해!! Group picture before we went to queue for gyro drop



because the passer by didn't take the full tower, taeyoung helped take it again



We then went for gyro drop



and boohoohoo I can't believe I deleted the video I took when we were high up there!!! The view was so nice from up there (~_~;) Arghhhh I'm so 먼천.. 난바보야 Grrrr oh well, there's one picture at least. Oh by the way if you're afraid of drops it's good to bring your camera up because I was sort of so distracted with videoing that I forgot we were dropping and totally didn't feel anything at all... Ooh and 0 didn't like this either haha. Ojisan already...! (＾ｰ^)ノ



And little dinosaur is hungry again. Seems like Taeyang had biscuits with her, but 0 took I away an guess where he hid it?

The 'I'm so hungry' expression on Dino is so cute... And when he realized the biscuits were just in his hood! Lol!!



Next we dashed for Atlantis because the queue got shorter! We ate this corn and some yakitori while waiting and the corn we ate tasted like Mochi! 맜시개다! I want to eat it again... It was so super cold out here, and the guys started talking about having cold hands and a warm heart. Dino claims that guys with cold hands have a warm heart and 0 went to put his hands on the wooden panel to make it cold Σ(￣。￣ﾉ)ﾉ eyrshhhh what are you doing!! I do prefer guys with warm hands because mine is always so bloody cold, and it was seriously like ice that day.



And Atlantis was a recommendation by Saerom, I'm glad we got to ride it!! Best ride ever!!! Wheeeheeee!!!!

Done with the ride and saw a statue which they stopped to imitate, and Taeyang got called a be pan sha because she didn't do the expression - 0 looks terribly funny hurhur



we stopped briefly for a performance which i didn't really understand... i think it was a very visual based performance. snapped pictures eventhough i don't know what was going on lol







fires!!



and an angel dropped down...



and there's the finale...



video of a part of the performance... but not very interesting



Next up was the mirror maze, that Taeyang treated us separately to ((´･_･`) I'm so sorry, I can't pay for anything ww and thank you all so much... T-T) before we entered, 0 went to swoon over this poster of a cute little anime girl pasted atthe entrance and i totally gave a shocked face, and finally understood dino when he said 'hentai jiji'. Sorry, the innocent face came too late, your true colors are revealed! Lol. (at least now i know he's 'normal')



We went in the maze and you were suppose to feel around for the path (too many reflected images...) and there was this mirror Towards the end where you could stick your head in and it sort of capture a moment of your face. Damn the guys for having such nice captures (even when 0 was doing a very shitty look why is the face captured so nice!?) mine sucked and taeyang's was cute!!

(oh! i spot a mongolian!)



guess who's who



We then crossed a swirling bridge and the next funniest event of the day happened - there was a burst of smoke when 0 tried to cross and he totally jumped!!! I think the cool, tough, unapproachable and manly perception of 0 just vanished. I was laughing so hard (we were all laughing so hard) then I practically bowled over and squatted there for quite some time while he gave the 'Omg there goes my image' face. It's nice to know that mr #2 most dangerous man in Korea can be surprised like this as well!!! The rest of us safely crossed the bridge soon after.



Since it was so bloody cold we hurried back indoor and queued for pharaoh's fury, which took less than 15 mins to enter - lucky! While we waited I was looking at the graffitis while the guys talked, and I burst out laughing at the same time 0 was striking a pose! Taeyoumg asked why i was laughing at him... And it was because i saw the words 'i am hot' written just above him and it fitted so well with his pose!!!

Pharaoh' fury was a rockety ride and as 0 was in the driver seat, he pretended to be the driver and said '미안해' when the car swerved while we all blamed him for the poor driving...theme parks really make people feel like kids again... Haha...





Our last ride of the day was the flume, and we wanted to take the photos and even prepared all the poses! I told Dino to do the Mongolian hair for 0 and I think 0 realized what I was up to and took off his hat. Well, of cos there's other ways to disturb him, so on the first drop, Dino flipped all his hair!!! We didn't detect the flash sadly and thought maybe it was on the second drop, so 0 put his hat on and we decide to do the Mongolian hair for the next drop. However it seems that the ride was closing and no pictures were taken!!! (；´Д`A 웨?!안돼!!!



passed by some live performance by indonesians. not bad! no video.. oops



Oh well, dinner next since taeyoung was hungry (and so was gogi dinosaur, surprise surprise!?) it was about 9 plus and we ate at lotteria before we departed to meet Lopez and the rest. Seems that they have been waiting for us at chunmuro for quite some time, and we were sort of supposed to have dinner together... But oops played too much... （´-`）

Taeyang didn't accompany us to chunmuro since it was pretty late already, but we managed to meet manyong and Lopez while we were grabbing hot milk tea from a nearby conbini when we reached. 미안미안!! We will have dinner together next time... Promise! And manyong told me lee jun ki will go korea 80% confirmed in dec... Oh man so do i go there for the 3rd time in a year!?!? I think I will go till they are sick of me (｀_´)ゞで、 Manyong left soon after, while the rest sent us back to the hostel. Ww thank you so much!! 고맙다!!

It was the end of our last day in Korea... And we all hugged each other goodbyes... (Ｔ＿Ｔ) I will miss you guys so much...

And I realized I forgot to return gogi his jacket, which Lopez told me to bring back to Singapore and he will collect it when he's there for acm... Oops 지민 고기 미안해, I will take good care of it!! 신가버 에서 기다리고...