Thursday, May 29, 2003

linkin park - faint

I am a little bit of loneliness, a little bit of disregard
Handful of complaints, but I can help the fact, that everybody can see these scars
What I want you to want, what I want you to feel
But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you, to just believe this is real
So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here 'cause you want what I've got

I can't feel the way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal this damage anymore
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored

I am a little bit insecure, a little unconfident
'Cause you don't understand, I do what I can, but sometimes I don't make sense
I say what you never wanna say, but I've never had a doubt
It's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you, for once just to hear me out
So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here 'cause you want what I've got

I can't feel the way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal this damage anymore
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored

Hear me out now
You're gonna listen to me, like it or not
Right now
Hear me out now
You're gonna listen to me, like it or not
Right now

I can't feel the way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored

I can't feel the way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal this damage anymore
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored

I can't feel
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored

Wednesday, May 28, 2003

Two Tough Questions

Question 1: If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?
Read the next question before looking at the answer for this one.

Question 2: It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three leading candidates.

Candidate A -
Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He's had two Mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B -
He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

Candidate C -
He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.

Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide first, no peeking, then scroll down for the answer.

Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Candidate B is Winston Churchill.

Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.

And, by the way, the answer to the abortion question: If you said yes, you just killed Beethoven.

Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging someone.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember: Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics:

*29 have been accused of spousal abuse
* 7 have been arrested for fraud
* 19 have been accused of writing bad cheques
* 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
* 3 have done time for assault
* 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
* 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
* 8 have been arrested for shoplifting
* 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
* 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year

Can you guess which organization this is?

It's the 535 members of the United States Congress. The same group of idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line. You gotta pass this one on.

Monday, May 26, 2003


During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.

I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.

The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:

54 times the sheets were clean
17 times it was too late
49 times you were too tired
20 times it was too hot
15 times you pretended to be sleep
22 times you had a headache
17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
16 times you said you were too sore
12 times it was the wrong time of the month
19 times you had to get up early
9 times you said weren't in the mood
7 times you were sunburned
6 times you were watching the late show
5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo
3 times you said the neighbors would hear us
9 times you said your mother would hear us

Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because:

6 times you just laid there
8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling
4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with
7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished
1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move



I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:

5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat
36 times you did not come home at all
21 times you didn't cum
33 times you came too soon
19 times you went soft before you got in
38 times you worked too late
10 times you got cramps in your toes
29 times you had to get up early to play golf
2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls
4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
2 times you had a splinter in your finger
20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day
6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book
98 times you were too busy watching football, baseball, etc. on TV

Of the times we did get together:

The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets.
I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, "Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?"
The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe.

Sunday, May 25, 2003

Facts About The 1500s:

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

* * * * * *

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children-last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water."

* * * * * *

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the dogs, cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."

* * * * * *

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could really mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

* * * * * *

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying "dirt poor."

* * * * * *

The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they kept adding more thresh until when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying a "thresh hold."

* * * * * *

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes the stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, "Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old."

* * * * * *

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man "could bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat."

* * * * * *

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning and death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

* * * * * *

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or "upper> crust."

* * * * * *

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a "wake."

* * * * * *

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a "bone-house" and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they thought they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the "graveyard shift") to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be "saved by the bell" or was considered a "dead ringer."

* * * * * *

And that's the truth...

Wednesday, May 21, 2003

If I Knew

If I knew it would be the last time
that I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute or two
to stop and say I love you,
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything right.

There will always be another day
to say our I love you's,
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do's?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance you get
to hold your loved one tight..

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day

That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear,

Take time to say "I'm sorry, please forgive me,"
"thank you" or "it's okay".
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.

Tuesday, May 20, 2003

10th grade

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to now that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade

The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior year

The day before prom she walked to my locker. "My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step! I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation Day

A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A Few Years Later

Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn`t see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.


Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read:
I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me!
I wish I did too... I thought to my self, and I cried.

Friday, May 16, 2003

WHOO-HOO~~~!! there's a matrix revolution! and keanu reeves is just so cooL in his fighting scenes!! matrix reloaded rocks!! (if the 'maker' didn't say so much cheeem stuff...) (-_-`)
You are Neo, the chosen one, the slayer of agents
everywhere. A former nerd, you have evolved
into quite a stubborn hero.
Although Trinity is not that hot, at least you're
one of the few that can get some in the real
You can stop bullets and you're immmortal; so what
the hell are you going to do in Matrix:

"Yeah. Wow, that sounds like a really good
deal. But I think I got a better one. How about
I give you the finger... and you give me my
phone call."

What Character From The Matrix Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Sheesh, another fangirl. Well, I dont blame you.
How can any woman resist a sexy body, and the
ruggedness that is Wolverine? Hes a loner by
nature, a heavy drinker, and is plagued by
memories of his past...or lack thereof. It may
take time to work your way into his heart, but
when you do, he'll do anything for his woman.
Just be careful, he has a tendency to stab
people in his sleep. ^_^;;

Who Is Your Ideal X-Men 2 Mate? (ladies only)
brought to you by Quizilla
you are the negative contact!

What color contacts should you have?
brought to you by Quizilla
School Jokes


Differences Between Physicist, Biologist And Chemist

A physicist, biologist and a chemist were going to the ocean for the first time.
The physicist saw the ocean and was fascinated by the waves. He said he wanted to do some research on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked into the ocean. Obviously he was drowned and never returned.

The biologist said he wanted to do research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked inside the ocean. He too, never returned.

The chemist waited for a long time and afterwards, wrote the observation, "The physicist and the biologist are soluble in ocean water".

Differentiation (If you studied about this before)

A mathematician went insane and believed that he was the differentiation operator. His friends had him placed in a mental hospital until he got better. All day he would go around frightening the other patients by staring at them and saying "I differentiate you!"

One day he met a new patient; and true to form he stared at him and said "I differentiate you!", but for once, his victim's expression didn't change. Surprised, the mathematician marshaled his energies, stared fiercely at the new patient and said loudly "I differentiate you!", but still the other man had no reaction. Finally, in frustration, the mathematician screamed out "I DIFFERENTIATE YOU!

The new patient calmly looked up and said, "You can differentiate me all you like: I'm e to the power of x."


We know that
a) Time is Money
b) Knowledge is Power
c) Power = Work / Time (From Physics)

By simple substitution:
Knowledge = Work / Money
Knowledge * Money = Work
Money = Work / Knowledge

It follows that as knowledge goes to 0, money goes to infinity.

You guys kept complaining that Maths is soooo difficult nowadays. Do you know what you children and grand children will be going through? Take a look at this.


Year 1960s Exam Question: A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His costs amount to 4/5 of his selling price, that is, $8. What is his profit?

Year 1980s Exam Question: A peasant sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His costs amount to 4/5 of his selling price. What is his profit?

Year 2000s Exam Question: A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $M. His cost amount to 4/5 of his selling price. Given that his profit is $2, find the value of M.

Year 2020s Exam Question: A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His production costs are $8, and his profit is $2. Underline the word "potatoes" and discuss about it.

Year 2040s Exam Question: Calculate the cost of potatoes, by plotting a smooth curve, to calculate the variations in the prices of the potatoes in the current market from the source given.

Year 2XXXs Exam Question: A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His or her production costs are 0.80 of his or her revenue. On your calculator, graph revenue vs. costs. Run the POTATO program to determine the profit. Discuss the results and thus write a brief essay that analyzes this example in the real world of economics.


Lots of people say that school days are the happiest days of their lives. But have you ever noticed that the people who say that don't go to school anymore?

School could be quite interesting, if the subjects wasn't so boring, especially when most of them you have to learn have got nothing to do with real life.

English ?Who needs to know English? No one speaks English anymore ?They speak Singlish.

And Maths ?What use is that to anyone? If you need to add, subtract, multiply or divide, just use a calculator. You don't have to do it in your head or on the paper, because you'll just get it wrong anyway.

What about reading? If you want any information, it's there on the TV, radio, or CD ROM. It's the same if you like a story. just watch a video or listen to the radio.

And why bother to learn to write? You can talk, can't you? If the person is nearby, just open you mouth. If you want to communicate over a longer distance, there's a telephone or computer nearby.

History is useless because what has happened has happened and there isn't anything you or anyone else can do about it. There is definitely no need to learn about what happened in the past ?it certainly won't help you understand the latest fashion.

It has been said that school is the place where you are made to learn lots of things that you will never need when you leave it. So why bother? Let's all give up school and not bother to learn anything.

As the saying goes, Ignorance is bliss.

Tuesday, May 13, 2003

Symbol Jupiter
MERCURY - In Roman mythology Mercury is the god of
commerce, travel and thievery, it was once
viewed as the messenger of the Gods.

Which of the nine planets are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Love and Madness

A long time ago, before the world was created and humans set foot on it for the first time, virtues and vices floated around and were bored,
not knowing what to do. One day, all the vices and virtues were gathered together and were more bored than ever.

Suddenly, Ingenious came up with an idea: "Let's play hide and seek!" All of them liked the idea and immediately Madness shouted: "I want to count, I want to count!" And since nobody was crazy enough to want to seek Madness, all the others agreed.

Madness leaned against a tree and started to count: "One, two, three..."

As Madness counted, the vices and virtues went hiding.

Tenderness hung itself on the horn of the moon, Treason hid in a pile of garbage. Fondness curled up between the clouds and Passion went to the centre of the earth. Lie said that it would hide under a stone, but hid at the bottom of the lake, whilst Avarice entered a sack that he ended up breaking. And Madness continued to count: "... seventy nine, eighty, eighty one..."

By this time, all the vices and virtues were already hidden. Except Love.

For undecided as Love is, he could not decide where to hide. And this should not surprise us, because we all know how difficult it is to hide Love.

Madness: "...ninety five, ninety six, ninety seven..."

Just when Madness got to one hundred, Love jumped into a rose bush where he hid. And Madness turned around and shouted: "I'm coming, I'm coming!"

As Madness turned around, Laziness was the first to be found, because Laziness had no energy to hide. Then he spotted Tenderness in the horn of the moon, Lie at the bottom of the lake and Passion at the centre of the earth. One by one, Madness found them all ? except Love. Madness was getting desperate, unable to find Love. Envious of Love, Envy whispered to Madness: "You only need to find Love, and Love is hiding in the rose bush."

Madness grabbed a wooden pitch fork and stabbed wildly at the rose bush. Madness stabbed and stabbed until a heartbreaking cry made him stop. Love appeared from the rose bush, covering his face with his hands. Between his fingers ran two trickles of blood from his eyes. Madness, so anxious to find Love, had stabbed out Love's eyes with a pitch fork. "What have I done! What have I done!" Madness shouted. "I have left you blind! How can I repair it?"

And Love answered: "You cannot repair my eyes. But if you want to do something for me, you can be my guide."

And so it came about that from that day on, Love is blind and is always accompanied by Madness.

Monday, May 05, 2003

Cybernetic Hydraulic Replicant Intended for Sabotage and Terran Yardwork

Her Side of the Story :
He was in an odd mood Saturday night. We planned to meet at a pub for a drink. I spent the afternoon shopping with the girls and I thought it might have been my fault ecause I was a bit later than I promised, but he didn't say anything much about it. The conversation was very slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more ntimate so we could talk a bit more privately. We went to this restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny. I tried to cheer him up and started to wonder whether it was me or something else. I asked him, and he said no. But I wasn't really sure. So anyway, in the car on the way back home, I said that I loved him deeply and he just put his arm around me. I didn't know what the hell that meant because you know he didn't say it back or anything, this is really worrying me. We finally got back home and I was wondering if he was going to leave me! So I tried to get him to talk but he just switched on the TV, and sat with a distant look in his eyes that seemed to say it's all over etween us. Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to bed. Then after about 10 minutes, he joined me and to my surprise, he responded to my advances. But, he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to confront him but I just cried myself to sleep. I just don't know what to do anymore. I mean, I really think he's seeing someone else and that my life is a disaster.

His Side of the Story:
ENGLAND lost to Brazil.

Saturday, May 03, 2003

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand
her at all.

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more
willing to die.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Friday, May 02, 2003


Aries Employee Profile

Aries employees make excellent troubleshooters.

They'll usually want to be out in the field at a variety of different
work sites fixing things. They certainly won't be happy for very
long behind a desk in a 9 to 5 schedule.

The bored Aries employee who has been forced into a square
hole will typically be restless, angry, and careless with details.
No amount of money would compensate for being stuck in a
routine job. Money in fact isn't why they are working at all.
They do want to be paid fairly and need a status position to
satisfy their competitive tendencies--
but even more importantly, they'll want challenging new
projects. They typically like to have a sense of responsibility
and need to feel needed. In return, they'll give their all and
provide detailed, consistent work. They will literally work
themselves to exhaustion to prove themselves.

If you want to keep your Aries co-worker productive and happy,
you'll want to give them the opportunity to work independently
or let them help and lead less experienced workers.

Taurus Employee Profile

Taureans make some of the best employees. They are loyal,
hardworking, and no-nonsense. They work methodically and
follow projects through until they are complete. Some may
appear to work a little too slowly-usually because they are so
careful-but they will always finish what they start. They thrive on
structure, schedules, and routine. You'll find them doing the
same exact thing at the same time every day.

Taureans, however, are not exactly the malleable workers that
they often appear to be. If they have to work in a chaotic
environment, they won't be happy and will be prone to child-like
temper tantrums and stubbornness. They might react similarly if
they have to work around ignorant people or at a job where
there is no obvious potential for advancement.

Taureans will be very unhappy if there isn't a ladder for them to
climb. Even in the worst situations, they will find a way to
advance slowly, winning over the most difficult people who
may stand in their way of progress.

Taurus employees will only take so much patiently and happily
before they feel they are being taken advantage of. They will
gladly accept orders and do whatever dirty work needs to get
done, but they expect rewards. They want material gain, salary
increases, and the potential for more power.

To make your Taurus employees happy, be sure to give them
projects through which they will see tangible results-hopefully
something that will allow them to express their unique creativity
in addition to their practical side. They don't want to feel mired
in details for long periods of time.

Make sure to schedule regular performance and salary reviews.
This show of respect should keep them loyal to the company.

Gemini Employee Profile

Gemini employees can have difficulty concentrating on one
thing for long periods of time. They have quick-moving minds
and love to talk and communicate their ideas with others.
They thrive on social interaction -- even if their jobs don't
particularly support it. You'll be able to find them wandering
from desk to desk gossiping about all the sordid news in the
office. They can be powerful persuaders in their speech and
make ideal salespeople and mediators. They love to nego-tiate
and can work out the best Deal for everyone involved.

When properly stimulated, they can manage to keep their
wandering mind focused and actually be quite productive.
When they are bored, bogged down with mundane detail-
work, or forced to work with people who they consider droll,
they can become mean-spirited and gossipy. Their moods
can fluctuate vastly day to day, as well as their productivity.

It is really against their nature to be forced into an average
workday schedule and environment. They are happier traveling.
lf they are in an office they will need constant new stimulation.

Most will be wanting advancement if they see this as a way to
escape the limitations of their jobs. This can motivate them to
put extra effort into their job. If you work with a Gemini, try to
avoid getting into any debates with them - they will surely
win and it could end in some hard feelings on your part. They
will need an accepting environment-one that supports their
need for multi-tasking.

Cancer Employee Profile

The Cancer employee isn't at work to feed their ego -- their
job is just a job and a means to get paid. They work steadily
and are usually very reliable. You'll be able to depend on them
to show up on time and do what is necessary. They won't get
involved in power struggles or get upset when someone
advances before them. They are able to accept the situation
because they see it simply as a rung on the ladder up. Their
motivation is security.

They'll want more money the longer they've stayed at a job.
They don't want to have to worry about how they'll make ends
meet tomorrow so they'll need a stable position without much
risk. Cancerian workers can slip into some dark moods on

During these periods productivity tends to drop-as well as
everyone else's in the office. Their moods can be so strong
everyone becomes affected. To avoid the frequency of these
occurrences, managers and co-workers should try to make
the work environment as homey as possible-keep it well
heated, cozy, and friendly. Don't press them to reveal their
true inner thoughts-their tendency is to be secretive and
protective, and they could see prying as an attempt to
disturb their security.

Leo Employee Profile

Leo workers want to be first and at the center of the office.
Even if they can't lead, they'll look for every opportunity to
increase their own status -- and if someone else seems
ahead of them, look out. They will make it clear that they
aren't happy by pouting and complaining. They want
advancement so much that they'll take on more respon-
sibility and carry a heavier load than anyone else does in
the office. And they are self-promoters. It is likely that they
are telling everyone in the office what a great job they are
doing as well as giving everyone unwanted advice.

They know they are superior and want everyone to know it
as well. This arrogance can sometimes cause problems
when working with management. But typically, they are just
hard workers out to demonstrate just how good they really are.

They thrive in sales positions - they can promote a product
or company just as well as they promote themselves.

Their strength and arrogance isn't just show either. In a crisis
situation, Leos really demonstrate their true courage.

Leos want to lead and will be pushing for more responsibility
and rewards. They are happy to train and mentor new co-
workers as they enjoy giving advice and being in positions of

If you are trying to manage a Leo employee, you'll need to
give them plenty of praise, responsibility, and independence.
They will certainly want to help lighten your load of manage-
ment responsibilities. Just be careful- the next thing you know
they could be taking over your job.

Virgo Employee Profile

In the right situations Virgos love to work. They make ideal
emloyees, happily working late into the night to make sure
everything is perfect and in order. If you are looking for an
employee who doesn't mind starting from rock bottom in the
most entry-level position at the company, hire a Virgo.

They'll have no complaints about the position being beneath
them. They are CONTENT with basic, honest hard work.
Their contentment isn't always apparent, however.

They love to complain and worry. They are quick to criticize
the way things are done around the office and are the first
ones to grumble disapprovingly at what they consider to be
extravagance or laziness. They are blunt and honest and
don't mince words over what they feel just isn't right.

Usually, this will be brought on by someone doing a half-
baked job or not being considerate of other co-workers.

You'll want to constantly reassure them, but this will do little to
quell their anxieties. They actually enjoy worrying, and there
is little you can do about it. Just give them a detail - oriented
project and let them work alone on it. You won't have to
supervise a Virgo worker. They'll check all the facts before
getting started and catch their own errors when they are done.

To keep a Virgo employee happy, you should also make sure
their environment is orderly and calm. You should also provide
small gestures of appreciation. They don't need extravagance,
just let them know you appreciate them in small ways that
won't embarrass them. They will probably just shrug their
shoulders and say, "It's no big deal." But deep down inside
they need these little reassurances.

Libra Employee Profile

Libra employees are detailed, dedicated workers with
sensitive natures. Managers and co-workers sometimes
find them difficult to get a handle on. They pick up the
energy of the office and are unable to prevent it from
affecting them. Loud noise, flashy colors, and discordant
vibrations will put them off so much that they will have
difficulty fulfilling their obligations at work.

One day they may seem like the most bright, hardworking,
ambitious employee around. The next day they might be
down, irritated, and unable to produce. Co-workers
shouldn't fret when Libra employees are in a dark mood.
It really won't last, as a happy state of mind can come over
them just as quickly. When Libra employees are in a
balanced frame of mind, they can be a powerful presence
at work-they have a way of gracing everything they touch.
Underneath that mess of moods, they really are basically
happy and stable people. They are capable of profound
logical thought and evaluate all sides of a situation before
acting. They are one of the most intelligent Signs around.

They are expert researchers and mediators. And their
sensitivity to their environment makes them naturals at
keeping things looking great. They will easily help others
resolve conflicts and can act as a go-between with workers
and management so that everyone ends up happy.

If you want to keep your Libran worker smiling, give them
the respect they are due and put them in a position where
they can project their great charm and diplomacy. They
won't be CONTENT to take orders for very long, either-
make sure they are given increased responsibility.

Scorpio Employee Profile

Scorpio employees usually exude a quiet self-confidence. They
are self-sufficient and do not depend on others for a sense of
self-worth. They keep their private life separate from work and
take complete responsibility for their actions and their situation.
They don't make excuses; they just take care of business and
expect everyone else to do the same. Those who don't, co-
workers and managers- will have to endure the Scorpio wrath.

They don't mind being completely vocal about what they feel is
wrong with any given situation. And if you tread on their fire be
sure to expect retaliation. They won't take insults or opposition
lying down.

If you manage a Scorpio employee, be sure to follow through
with your word and don't break any promises-Scorpio is
keeping track and building up some heavy resentments
against you if you do. You may not even be aware of it until
too late-but when Scorpio gets too much, you'll be sure to

Scorpio employees will react towards those around them
exactly as they are treated. When they get what they want,
they will be very accepting.

If you are trying to work with or motivate a Scorpio co-worker,
be sure to treat them respectfully and act professionally.
Give them challenging work that allows them to utilize their
awesome self-confidence and courage.

Sagittarius Employee Profile

The Sagittarian employee is head strong, cheerful, and willing
to help. They exude self-confidence and take on tasks like
there's no tomorrow. They are willing to tackle even the
toughest of projects as long as it is challenging and gets them
out of the routine. Lucky for them, their shining personalities
and honest enthusiasm seem like a bright spot in the office-
otherwise co-workers might begin to build animosity towards
someone so arrogant and extravagant.

Their tendency to exaggerate and take on more then they can
handle usually results in missed deadlines and dropping the
ball-not because they are lazy of procrastinate, but because
their enthusiasm just gets the better of them sometimes.
Don't let their nonchalance fool you-they really do care about
what they are doing. They just have an easy-going attitude
that allows them to keep on smiling even when they just
messed up big time.

Just because they are flexible and easy-going doesn't mean
they won't tell you exactly how they feel-what is working for
them and what isn't. And they won't just blindly take orders -
they need to understand the method and reason behind the

If you are trying to motivate your Sagittarian employee, be
sure to feed them plenty of challenging new projects and
hint that some business trips might be on the horizon once
deadlines are met.

And whatever you do, try not to question their intentions-
it is the quickest way to make them upset. They aren't
capable of deceit.

Capricorn Employee Profile

A Capricorn employee with too much to do is a happy worker.

They need plenty of projects and responsibility. There is no
sadder sight than a Capricorn worker without a sense of
responsibility. They need to be needed. They are covertly
ambitious - usually not flashy or obvious about it-but you will
usually know that they are serious and determined about
advancing themselves.

They are completely scrupulous, so much so that they can be
self-disparaging. But they are no pushovers. They can wear
down even the toughest customers. Their persistence is
incredible. Once they set their sights on a goal, they work
away at it until the bitter end-whether the goal be that hard
sell or the new hardware release.

Capricorns don't work for free, however. They expect to be
paid handsomely and be given more and more responsibility.
They need to come out ahead of the pack in the end, and
they see the work environment as their primary vehicle.
They won't go in for the typical office gossip and politics, though.
They want to get down to business at work and see it as no
place for fooling around.

With a strong sense of duty and respect towards their superiors,
it is rare they will join in on boss-bashing or knocking the system.

They can get frustrated, however, with blue sky management
schemes that lack common sense, and they will interject their
dry sense of humor in the most critical ways.

If they want change, they will be unyielding. If all their effort
leads to naught the result will be deep moods of darkness and
depression with a sense of hopelessness.

Keep your Capricorn employee happy by paying them fairly
and giving them plenty of hard work. Arrange for a path of
advancement within your organization for them. If you don't,
you might find them looking for other opportunities.

Aquarius Employee Profile

The Aquarius employee can't tolerate unfairness in the office.

Hair brained schemes will get the positive attention they
deserve if an Aquarian has anything to do with it. They'll try
to help everyone see the good side of a bad situation if it's
the last thing that they do. They are so smart-they can't help
but hold management in disdain if they feel that they are
being unfair and unintelligent. It isn't that they are overly
ambitious and think they could be doing a better job- just
that they think people in power should know better.

Most Aquarius workers are still looking for themselves and
will want to try their hand at a variety of jobs in the workplace.
Whatever they are doing, they will do conscientiously.

They usually have strict personal codes that include a strong
work ethic. Their bright, off-beat intelligence, and trustworthi-
ness will typically gain them many friends-in and out of work.

Beneath that sometimes odd-ball behavior is solid, concrete
thinking and sensitivity to co-workers. Keep your smart
Aquarius co-worker happy by giving them plenty of opportunity
to learn news kills.

Raises are less important to them. No amount of money will
make it worth their while to stay in a stagnant position. Don't
let them get too bored or they will simply find another job as
easily as they found this one-their genius is easy to spot.

Pisces Employee Profile

The Pisces employee can be a loyal and hard-working, if
unconventional, worker. In the right position, they are able to
keep their daydreams in check and buckle down on the
detail work-giving their all to the boss and corporation whom
they feel are worthy of devotion.

On the flip side, there is no image of extreme misery like that
of an ill-placed Pisces worker. They will act as though their
cubicle were a prison cell as they daydream of their own
business or next vacation.

Unhappy Pisces workers usually won't stick around too long.
Often Pisceans will drift from one job to another looking for
that ideal environment to which they will be able to commit
and feel a sense of purpose. And if things are going in a bad
direction at the office, Pisces will be the first to sense it.
They'd rather pick up and leave then wait until the problem
reaches a head. Pisces are often misunderstood by their

Typically timid and introspective, they usually keep their true
nature hidden, for fear it wouldn't fit with the corporte culture.
What motivates a Pisces employee to not only stick around
but also excel? Try compliments. And show them how their
work impacts the entire organization.

They need to know that what they are doing is worth
something on a grander scale. Acceptance of their
unconventional organization and planning will be necessary.
Just because their sales report isn't in the typical format
doesn't mean it is any less effective. Keep their environment
bright and upbeat; and an after-work cocktail wouldn't hurt.