Wednesday, March 31, 2010

i am very very sad because youtube does not seem to be able to include my video as one of the search results!!! T.T

my bidam! i still love my video anyway.

WATCH QUEEN SEON DEOK! don't watch the mv if you are planning to watch/have not finished because it contains massive spoiler. and i do mean massive.

*editing the video again, upload soon*

Monday, March 29, 2010

self-abuse!
nah, it's all in the name of my KOREA trip!!! yahoo!!!!!!
it was well worth it.
still suffering the after effects of holding 2 huge chain saws for the whole day, my whole body is aching terribly.
whoever said that it was easy getting in must be SERIOUSLY joking. don't let me whack you!

Monday, March 22, 2010

couldn't sleep the whole night because of the damn ending. not that i didn't know that would happen, i just didn't know why i would hope it wouldn't happen. i'm always under the illusion that things may not be what it seems, that there's something more to it than that, or that it would twist a little at the end (perhaps it was all a dream?).

but anyhow... this blog writer wrote out the most impactful and heartrending dialogues happening in the last few episodes.

*** SUPER SPOILERS WARNING! ***

Ending (Adapted from 申公主)

原來毗曇最後要告訴德曼的那一句話就是喊著女王的名字...德曼

在第57集時,德曼曾流著眼淚對毗曇說:

某一天,一切都改變了
有人因為我是公主想殺了我
有人為了守護我,在我的眼前死去
而剩下的人在我面前跪下行禮,對我敬畏,希望我能完成大業。

但是,就在那樣的某一天,你出現了
你總是什麼都不在乎的樣子
對我也不用敬語
我也曾讓你一直保持這樣
只有你還像以前一樣對我
所以,只有你,讓我覺得像從前一樣安心。
回到宮裡後,你也一樣送花給我
用擔心的眼神看著我,抓著我的手

即使那時候有別的原因也沒關係。
看到你的時候,我就能感受到從前的日子,真好

(毗曇:可是為何,為何你變了?)

因為,我沒有自己的名字……
太子也好,公主也好,市井的人也好,他們都有自己的名字
但是,作為王,是沒有自己名字的
我只是陛下
現在誰也不能再叫我的名字了

叫我的名字,就是叛逆啊
就算你是因為戀慕而叫我的名字
那也是對天下的背叛啊!

你問我為什麼變了
因為從我失去名字的那一刻起
你就只是我眾多有勢力的臣下中的一個
而我只是算計著你,對你有疑心的王
你會不會成為另一個美室呢?
必須要這樣疑心和提防著啊!

但是,毗曇啊,
你知道這樣做有多麼辛苦嗎?

你知道我是多麼想去相信你,多麼想期待你
你都知道嗎?

我需要你在身邊,

不是總讓我緊張、讓我孤獨的人
而是對著我眨眼睛,送花給我
輕妄的抓住我顫抖的手的人

毗曇啊,我需要你

像以前一樣固執地保護我,阻止我。

所有人都以為這是王不該有的感情
只有你,把我當成一個普通人,當成女人。
但是,這樣真好

把我當成女人喜歡著的你,真好。
但是這樣,也是可以的嗎?

毗曇想要的愛,注定是得不到的。記得美室對毗曇說過:「你用最脆 弱的人心來期待那遙不可及的夢,真是天真」。就是因為人心太過脆弱,毗曇才會中了廉宗的反間計。不能信任別人一直是毗曇的致命點,也因為如此廉宗的奸計才 能得逞。廉宗死前對著毗曇說:無法信任的是你,動搖的也是你,葬送你愛情的不是陛下,也不是我,正是你自己,是你毗曇。反觀庾 信,就非常的信任德曼。當月夜利用計謀逼得庾信和德曼成為敵人的時候,庾信是冒死回到德曼的身邊,就是因為庾信信任德曼,最後才能存活下來。

當德曼的手垂落在御座旁時,她手上還戴著與毗曇的訂婚戒指。這剛好和德曼問起庾信當年 的往事是對比的。

德曼:
我們曾一度 想過逃避是吧
還記得嗎
現在怎麼樣


庾信:
微臣無地自容
您怎麼突然提起那件事


為什麼最後德曼除了庾信之外,會愛上毗曇,真的不是沒有原因,因為全世界只有毗曇敢把德曼當成女人。假使今天,庾信的回答是:我們就私 奔吧!!我相信德曼不會這麼快死。即便最後留在德曼身邊的只有庾信,但正如她自己所說的:「看似得到了一切,實際什麼也 沒有。」她沒有享受到正常的快樂,不能跟愛的人在一起,更不可能享受到作為女人的快樂。


那個在夢裡告訴自己從現在起她將開始孤單痛苦一生的劇情,不愧是編劇的神來之筆!女王德曼對少女德曼說:「你,會很孤獨,比沙漠還要 乾渴,還要寂寞,好像擁有了一切,到頭來,卻一無所有,可是,一定要堅強,堅強,堅強起來。」未來的自己望 著過去的自己的背影,剩下的只有感慨。


善德女王的最終結局,德曼走到了人生的終點,回想過去那些坎坷的歲月,德曼留下兩行眼淚。在王的道路上她犧牲了太多太多,這樣的結局 還真有點悲涼。

人生可以得到想得到的,不過也會失去不想失去的。或許這就是人生的無奈吧!!



Friday, March 19, 2010

i am so bloody hooked on this show that i'm going nuts!!!

i think he's probably the next guy i'm going crazy over after lee jun ki.

so in this show, bidam appears first in episode 21 as the son of mishil and the other king who was overthrown (cannot remember his name). he's really an odd guy, with a crazy streak and a disregard for the importance of human lives. the way he kills is simply maniacal - no doubts about someone with martial arts skills inherited from the most-respected guardians in silla (the country in the show)



bidam is an important character who later helps deokman in her route to becoming king. one particular look i like when he was acting as the 'speaker of god' or 'ji1 tong2'





there's just something that's captivating about masked scarred long-haired guys *_*

not to mention after he joined hwarang he had his hair up in a nice ponytail hoo hoo





aside from his crazy side, he has this tender spot for deokman. the expression he has when he's around her is just <3



this is the scene where i fell in love with him.



still looking good with a moustache.



it's interesting to see how kim nam gil portrayed the role of bidam, from a crazy killer machine, a joker, to someone who is more serious and dark. the role evolution is really intriguing, and this video just about summarizes bidam.



this video features how bidam and deokman had their fates entwined since birth - both being babies who were discarded, and how they were brought together. one of my favourite mvs featuring their star-crossed lives.



and i totally spoilt myself watching this mv, which is going to be what happens in the end. DON'T WATCH IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCH THE SHOW!! i feel i'm going to be traumatised for a week after i watch the last episode.



kim nam gil in real life! winning the awards for his role as bidam and looking damn good.





hi, tall dark handsome knight! now looking forward to his next show!
there should seriously be more korean history dramas!!

Thursday, March 11, 2010



i want to watch.. nowwwwwww.... ww T.T
why the crazy guy bidam became so shuai... *_* and yushin-nang is so <3 - he's not shuai nor my type, but it just feels like jang geum and jeong ho. mmmmm *starts dreaming* to hell with work!

Monday, March 08, 2010

made my ladybug bag while watching queen seon duk. almost forgot about it.

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basically it's just foam as the inside and cloth wrapped by uhu glue/cloth tape. it can open up at the black/red split to store stuff. hoho...

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redid my pauldrons so it's more... 3d-like too. had to tear away all the previous tapes... the foam is actually pretty holey, but i managed to cover the holey parts with the cloth and tried to stick the black cloth tape over all the holey cloth and holey foam ww

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gotta love uhu glue and cloth tape. gonna use elastic band to wear it on my shoulders.

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i'm listening to lee jun ki's j style now by the way. sexaaaaaaay. *_* <3<3 you make me wanna be someone better hohohoho
did this sometime ago, crafted with clay and painted with acrylic. then i used a black marker to do the outlines, and finally sprayed a coat of protection/shine. quite happy with the necklace except the beads near the stone got kind of smudged... from what i see on other reference pictures, need to change the earring to a stud and need to add something else to that stone as well as change it's color. so i guess there's still much work left!

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i like my shading. hahahhahaha.