Wednesday, December 31, 2003

Fruits Feast

A plane crash on an island, only three guys survived. They were captured by the cannibal tribe and brought before the chief.
The chief said: "I will let you live if you manage to pass two trials."
They got no other choice but to ask: "What will be the first trial?"
Chief said: "Go into the forest and bring me ten fruits of the same kind."
They thought: "That's easy." So three of them set off immediately.
The first guy came back with ten apples. The chief told him that he had to stuff the ten apples into his ass without even making a noise to pass the second trial. The first one went in fine, but when the second one went in, he couldn't help but to scream in pain. He was chop into pieces and dump into the cooking pot with the apples he brought.
The second guy came back with ten cherries, The chief told him that he had to stuff the ten cherries into his ass without even making a noise to pass the second trial. The first one went in fine, the second one also went in fine, everything went fine until the last one, then he couldn't help but to laugh out loud. He was chop into pieces and dump into the cooking pot with the cherries he brought.
The first guy met the second guy in heaven and asked: "You could have survived, but why do you have to laugh at the last moment?"
Second guy said: "I couldn't help it, because I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples."

Rubber Things

A young girl's car broke down in front of a farm in a stormy night; she got no choice but to take shelter at the farm for the night. The farmer was unwilling at first, but only agree to it at one condition: "Both my sons are at their young and innocent age right now, I will only agree to let you stay for the night only if you promise that you will not sneak into their room in the middle of the night."
The girl agrees to the condition and stay for the night. She can't help but to sneak into the farmer sons' room in the middle of the night.
She told the two young man: "I am going to give you two the best time of your life, but I don't want to be pregnant, so you two will have to wear these rubber things.
Fifty years later, the two brothers were sitting in front of the farm.
"Do you still remember the girl who came into our room on a stormy night thirty years ago?"
"Sure do! I really had the best time of my life."
"Do you care if she really get pregnant now?"
"No, why do you ask?"
Do you think it's about time we remove that rubber thing?"

Monkey Bar

An old man brought his pet monkey to a bar, he went and sit down at the bar counter and let the monkey loose.
The monkey run to the pool table, grab the white ball and swallows it.
The bartender was so angry that he chases the old man and his monkey out of the bar. A week later, the old man came back with the monkey.
The bartender give the monkey a bowl of peanuts to keep it occupied so that it would not create problem in his bar again. But after a while he can't help but to asks the old man: "I seem to notice that your monkey is doing some disgusting thing, why do he had to put every peanut into his ass hole first before he eat it?"
The old man answered: "You remember the white ball he swallow last week? He got a hard time ****ting it out, so now he will measure everything before he eat it."

Stock Exchange

A shop owner employed a new shopkeeper. One day, when the shop owner was not around, a customer came by looking for a bottle of kerosene. The shopkeeper went into the store and search, came back and said: "Sorry, sir. We just run out of kerosene this morning."
The customer left. After the shop owner came back, the shopkeeper informs him about the incident.
The shop owner was angry: "Why you never recommend something similar like the paint thinner? We still got a lot of paint thinner in our store."
Another day, when the shop owner was not around, a customer came by looking for a roll of toilet paper. The shopkeeper went into the store and search, came back and said: "Sorry, sir. We just run out of toilet paper this morning, would you like to get some sand paper instead?"

Duck Tales

A duck went into a provision store and asked: "Do you have any grapes?"
The shopkeeper answer: "No, we don't sell grapes here."
The next day, the duck came back again and asked: "Do you have any grapes?"
The shopkeeper answer: "No, we don't sell grapes here. How many times do I have to tell you? If you come and bother me again, I am going to nail your feet to the ground."
The next day, the duck came back again and asked: "Do you have any nails?"
The shopkeeper was surprised; he went into the store and search. He came back after a while and said: "I am sorry, sir. We happen to run out of nails this morning."
The duck said: " Then do you happen to have any grapes?"

Pretty Woman

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, tells him she'll see him later, then walks away.
His wife glares at him and says, "Who was that?"
"Oh," replies the husband, "That was my mistress."
The wife says, "That's it ;I want a divorce."
"I understand," replies the husband, "but, remember, if you get a divorce, there will be no more shopping trips to Paris, no wintering in the Caribbean, no Lexus in the garage, and no more country club. But the decision is yours."
Just then the wife notices a mutual friend entering the restaurant with a gorgeous woman. "Who's that woman with Jim?" she asks.
"That's his mistress," replies her husband. "Ours is prettier," says the wife.

International Call

A blonde goes into a worldwide message center to send a message to her mother in Poland. When the man tells her that it will cost her $300, she exclaims, "I don't have any money but I'll do anything to get a message to my mother in Poland!"
To that the man asks, "Anything?"
And the blonde says, "Yes, Anything!" With that the man says, "Follow me!" He walks into the next room and tells her, "Come in and close the door."
She does this and then he says, "Get on your knees." She does.
He then says, "Take down my zipper." She does.
Then he says, "Go ahead, and take it out." With that, she takes it out and holds it with both hands. And then the man says somewhat impatiently, "Well, go ahead!"
She then brings her mouth closer to it, and while holding it very closely to her lips, she says, "Hello, mom?"

Tuesday, December 30, 2003

Love And Friendship

There was this guy who loved two gals at the same time but he didn't know which one he loved more. Someone taught him. Ask yourself this question and answer it honestly :
"When you are happy, which gal would you want to share your happiness with?" The one you think of is someone you love.
Ask yourself another question and answer it honestly :
"When you are sad, which gal you want to share your burden with?" The one you think of is also someone you love.
If you think of the same gal when you are happy & sad, that's the most perfect. But if you don't think of the same gal, I would advise you to chose the one you are willing to share your sadness with.
In life, there are more sorrows than happiness. There are too many people that u meet that u can share your happiness with, not necessary your lover. If you live your life happily, you can also enjoy it alone.
In sadness, however, there are not many people willing to share your burden with you. If you are willing to tell someone your happiness, I am sure that person has got to be someone close & an understanding person to you. But it shouldn't stop there. If that person only thinks of you when she is happy, but looks for someone else when she is sad, this lover is too unstable, she doesn't treat you as someone she can spend the rest of her life with.
Of course, I will be very happy if I am the first person to share her happiness. But, if she is sad, I will be too willing to stay by her side & ease her pain. Only then, will I believe that I hold a very important position in her heart.
If you are sad, who comes to your mind first?


Friendship is a strange thing. We find ourselves telling each other the deepest details of our lives... things we don't even share with the families who raised us.
But what is a friend? A confidant? A shoulder to cry on? An ear to listen? A heart to feel? A friend is all these ... and more. No matter where we met, no matter how long we've been together... I call you friend.
A word so small, yet so large in feeling, a word filled with emotion, a word overflowing with love. Truly great things come in small packages.
Once the package of friendship has been opened, it can never be closed.
It is a constant book always waiting... waiting to be read... and enjoyed.
We may have our disagreements... we may have our disappointments ...we may argue ...we may have concern for one another...friendship is a unique bond that lasts through all tribulations. A part of each of us goes into our friendships ...
our humor ... our experiences... our tears. Friendships are foundations... necessary for life... and love. Friends .. you and me ... you brought another friend and then we were three ... we started our group ...our circle of friends...
there is no beginning .. there is no end.

Monday, December 29, 2003

Love Letter

This is a love letter from a boy to a girl....
However,the girl's father does not like him and want them to stop the relationship...... So, the boy wrote this letter to the little girl.

1 "The great love that I have for you
2 is gone, and I find my dislike for you
3 grows every day. When I see you,
4 I do not even like your face;
5 the one thing that I want to do is to
6 look at other girls. I never wanted to
7 marry you. Our last conversation
8 was very boring and has not
9 made me look forward to seeing you again.
10 You think only of yourself
11 If we were married, I know that I would find
12 life very difficult, and I would have no
13 pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
14 to give, but it is not something that
15 I want to give to you. No one is more
16 foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
17 able to care for me and help
18 I sincerely want you to understand that
19 I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
20 if you think this the end. Do not try
21 to answer this. Your letters are full of
22 things that do not interest me. You have no
23 true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,
24 I do not care for you. Please do not think that
25 I am still your boyfriend."

So bad..... However, the boy told the girl before to "READ BETWEEN THE LINES", meaning only toread
Please read it again!'s so smart n sweet...Interesting right??

Sunday, December 28, 2003

Why Men Lie

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his ax fell into the river.

When he cried out, an angel appeared and asked,

"Why are you crying?"

The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water,

and he needed it to make his living.

The angel went down into the water and reappeared with

a golden axe.

"Is this your axe?" the angel asked. "No." The woodcutter replied.

The angel again went down and came up with a silver axe.

"Is this your axe?" he asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

The angel again went down and came up with an iron axe.

"Is this your axe?" the angel asked.

"Yes." The woodcutter answered.

The angel was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river.

When he cried out, the angel again appeared and asked him,

"Why are you crying?"

"Oh, my wife has fallen into the water!"

So the angel went down into the water and came up with Jennifer Lopez.

"Is this your wife?" the he asked.

"Yes," cried the woodcutter.

The angel was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The woodcutter replied,

"Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to Jennifer Lopez, You would have come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Then if I also said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, so THAT'S why I said yes to Jennifer Lopez."

The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others.
That's our story and we're sticking with it!

Thursday, December 25, 2003


There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth, he succesfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Now if there is a blindman who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses How should he express himself? Think about it first before scrolling down for the answer.


Juz open mouth and ask lor, aiyoh so simple.

if u got this wrong...pls go and flush yourself in the toilet bowl.

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

Dark In Here

A housewife takes a lover during the day while her husband is at work. Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet.

Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.

Boy: "Dark in here."

Man: "Yes it is."

Boy: "I have a baseball."

Man: "That's nice."

Boy: "Want to buy it?"

Man: "No, thanks."

Boy: "My dad's outside."

Man: "OK, how much?"

Boy: "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.

Boy: "Dark in here."

Man: "Yes, it is."

Boy: "I have a baseball glove."

Man: "How much?"

Boy: "$750."

Man: "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball."

The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."

The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"

The son says, "$1,000."

The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess." They go to church and the father alerts the priest, and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."

The priest says, "Don't start that shit again"

Sunday, December 21, 2003

LOTR (Hokkien Version)

So the new Lord of the Rings movie is coming out and you want to impress some Ah Lian, you're trying to buaya by being able to explain the whole complicated plot with all the funny sounding names and words. You want to seem like you've actually read all 3 books, but - damn suay - even The New Paper is too 'cheem' for you. Neh'mine! Dun scared! Here is our easy to understand guide to J.R.R. Tolkein's trilogy, written specially in the conversational style of Ah Bengs, so you can memorize:


Last time got this short-short person with si-beh hairy legs called Bilbo, lor. He, hor, got this ring that last time belong to some monster.

But then, hor, one day suay-suay the monster want it back, and send his kah kiah to Bilbo's house to settle, lah.

But the ring, hor, acherly can make people very powderful. But then, hor, if you wear too long will also kena sai. Si beh hiong one, so better faster go and destroy it, lor.

So Bilbo's nephew Frodo. Aiyah, dun ask me why their name all so funny, can or not? You ask me, I ask who?

Anyway, Frodo and some peng yew kena arrow to go and destroy the ring.

But donno why also, they must do it in the monster's home, which is at the end of New Zealand there.

So they walk and walk and walk across New Zealand, lah. And then along the way, got monster chase them, got people want to hoot them, some of them dieded, all sorts of thing, lah.

At the end, Frodo and Sam, his pooi-pooi friend who I think so is a bit ah quah, got separated from the rest.


Frodo and Sam meet up with this thing called Gollum, who look like he take too much Slim 10 like that.

At the same time, hor, the other friends get into some powderful hooting session, where, wah lau eh, even the trees can do gongfu one. They all fight over what, I also donno, but quite kan cheong, lah.


In the end, Frodo and his peng yew all win leow, lah. Arbuthen?

- This condensed version of J.R.R. Tolkein's Lord of the Rings trilogy was brought to you courtesy of the Coxford Singlish Dictionary.

Wednesday, December 17, 2003


A young wife sat on a sofa in Bukit Timah on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her Mother. As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter.
"Don't forget your girlfriends," she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. "They'll be more important
as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you'll have, you are still going to need girlfriends. Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them. And
remember that "girlfriends" are not only your friends, but your sisters, your daughters, and other relatives too. You'll need other women. Women always do."
'What a funny piece of advice,' the young woman thought.
'Haven't I just gotten married? Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a married woman, for goodness sake, a grownup, not a young girl who needs girlfriends! Surely my husband and the family we'll start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!'
But she listened to her Mother; she kept contact with her girlfriends and made more each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom really knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, girlfriends are the mainstays of her life. After 50
years of living in this world, here is what I know about girlfriends:

Girlfriends bring you chicken curry and scrub your bathroom when you need help.

Girlfriends keep your children and keep your secrets.

Girlfriends give advice when you ask for it. Sometimes you take it, sometimes you don't.

Girlfriends don't always tell you that you're right, but they're usually honest.

Girlfriends still love you, even when they don't agree with your choices.

Girlfriends laugh with you, and you don't need canned jokes to start the laughter.

Girlfriends pull you out of jams.

Girlfriends help you get out of bad relationships.

Girlfriends help you look for a new apartment, help you pack, and help you move.

Girlfriends will give a party for your son or daughter when they get married or have a baby, in whichever order that comes!

Girlfriends are there for you, in an instant and when the hard times come.

Girlfriends will drive through blizzards, rainstorms, hail, heat, and gloom of night to get to you when your hour of need is desperate.

Girlfriends listen when you lose a job or a friend.

Girlfriends listen when your children break your heart.

Girlfriends listen when your parents' minds and bodies fail.

Girlfriends cry with you when someone you loved dies.

Girlfriends support you when the men in your life let you down.

Girlfriends help you pick up the pieces when men pack up and go.

Girlfriends rejoice at what makes you happy, and are ready to go out and kill what makes you unhappy.

Times passes.

Life happens.

Distance separates.

Children grow up.

Love waxes and wanes.

Hearts break.

Careers end.
Jobs come and go.

Parents die.

Colleagues forget favours.

Men don't call when they say they will.

BUT girlfriends are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A girlfriend is never farther away than needing her can reach. When you have to walk that lonesome valley, and you have to walk it for yourself, your girlfriends will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your
behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end. Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you. Or come in and carry you out.

My daughter, sisters, mother, sisters-in-law, mother-in-law, aunties, nieces, cousins, extended family, and friends
bless my life! The world wouldn't be the same without them, and neither would I.

When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other. Every day, we need each other still.

not really true... but just publish anyway.

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

Birth Numbers

Your birth date describes who we are, what we are good at and what our inborn abilities are. It also points to what we have to learn and the challenges we are facing.

To figure out your Birth Number, add all the numbers in the birth date together, like in the example, until there is only one digit. A Birth Number does not prevent you from being anything you want to be, it will just color your choice differently and give you a little insight.

Example : March 20, 1950
3 + 20 + 1950 = 1973 = 1 + 9 + 7 + 3 = 20 = 2 + 0 = 2
2 is the Birth Number to read for the birth date
in the example.
Your number is _____,


1 's are originals. Coming up with new ideas and executing them is natural. Having things their own way is another trait that gets them as being stubborn and arrogant. 1's are extremely honest and do well to learn some diplomacy skills. They like to take the initiative and are often leaders or bosses, as they like to be the best. Being self-employed is definitely helpful for them. Lesson to learn: Others' ideas might be just as good or better and to stay open minded.
Famous 1's: Tom Hanks, Robert Redford, Hulk Hogan, Carol Burnett, Wynona Judi, Nancy Reagan, Raquel Welch

2's are the born diplomats. They are aware of others' needs and moods and often think of others before themselves. Naturally analytical and very intuitive they don't like to be alone. Friendship and companionship is very important and can lead them to be successful in life, but on the other hand they'd rather be alone than in an uncomfortable
relationship. Being naturally shy they should learn to boost their self-esteem and express themselves freely and seize the moment and not put things off.
Famous 2's: President Bill Clinton, Madonna, Whoopee Goldberg, Thomas Edison, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

3's are idealists. They are very creative, social, charming, romantic, and easygoing. They start many things, but don't always see them through. They like others to be happy and go to great lengths to achieve it. They are very popular and idealistic. They should learn to see the world from a more realistic point of view.
Famous 3's: Alan Alda, Ann Launders, Bill Cosby, Melanie Griffith, Salvador Dali, Jodi Foster

4's are sensible and traditional. The like order and routine. They only act when they fully understand what they are expected to do. They like getting their hands dirty and working hard. They are attracted to the outdoors and feel an affinity with nature. They are prepared to wait and can be stubborn and persistent. They should learn to be more flexible and to be nice to themselves.
Famous 4's: Neil Diamond, Margaret Thatcher, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tina Turner, Paul Hogan, Oprah Winfrey

5's are the explorers. Their natural curiosity, risk taking, and enthusiasm often land them in hot water. They need diversity, and don't like to be stuck in a rut. The whole world is their school and they see a learning possibility in every situation. The questions never stop. They are well advised to look before they take action and make sure they have all the facts before jumping to conclusions.
Famous 5's: Abraham Lincoln, Charlotte Bronte, Jessica Walter, Vincent Van Gogh, Bette Midler, Helen Keller and Mark Hamil.

6's are idealistic and need to feel useful to be happy. A strong family connection is important to them. Their actions influence their decisions. They have a strong urge to take care of others and to help. They are very loyal and make great teachers. They like art or music. They make loyal friends who take the friendship seriously. 6's should learn to differentiate between what they can change and what they cannot.
Famous 6's: Albert Einstein, Jane Seymour, John Denver, Meryl Streep, Christopher Columbus, Goldie

7's are the searchers. Always probing for hidden information, they find it difficult to accept things at face value. Emotions don't sway their decisions. Questioning everything in life, they don't like to be questioned themselves. They're never off to a fast start, and their motto is slow and steady wins the race. They come across as philosophers & being very knowledgeable, and sometimes as loners. They are technically inclined and make great researchers uncovering information. They like secrets. They live in their own world and should learn what is acceptable and what not in the world at large.
Famous 7's: William Shakespeare, Lucille Ball, Michael Jackson, Joan Baez,Princess Diana

8's are the problem solvers. They are professional, blunt and to the point, have good judgment and are decisive. They have grand plans and like to live the good life. They take charge of people. They view people objectively. They let you know in no uncertain terms that they are the boss. They should learn to exude their decisions on their own needs rather than on what others want.
Famous 8's: Edgar Cayce, Barbra Streisand, George Harrison, Jane Fonda, Pablo Picasso, Aretha Franklin, Nostrodamus

9's are natural entertainers. They are very caring and generous, giving away their last dollar to help. With their charm, they have no problem making friends and nobody is a stranger to them. They have so many different personalities that people around them have a hard time understanding them. They are like chameleons, ever changing and blending in. They have tremendous luck, but also can suffer from extremes in fortune and mood. To be successful,
they need to build a loving foundation.
Famous 9's: Albert Schweitzer, Shirley MacLaine, Harrison Ford, Jimmy Carter, Elvis Presley

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

You're Paine! Fighting can solve anything and get
you you're way in life! nobody better cross
your path!

Which FFX-2 Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
A Story Of A Little Girl

Her hair was up in a ponytail
Her favorite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy's Day at school,
And she couldn't wait to go.
But her mommy tried to tell her,
That she probably should stay home.
Why the kids might not understand,

If she went to school alone.
But she was not afraid;
She knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates

Of why he wasn't there today.
But still her mother worried,
And that was why once again,
She tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school,
Eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees
A dad who never calls.

There were daddies along the wall in back,
For everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently,
Anxious in their seats.

One by one the teacher called,
A student from the class.
To introduce their daddy,
As seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name,
Every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching,
For a man who wasn't there.

Where's her daddy at?"
She heard a boy call out.
She probably doesn't have one,"
Another dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back,
She heard a daddy say,
"Looks like another deadbeat dad,
Too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offend her,
As she smiled up at her Mom.
And looked back at her teacher,
Who told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back,
Slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child,
Came words incredibly unique.

My Daddy couldn't be here,
Because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,
Since this is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him,
I wanted you to know.
All about my daddy,
And how much he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories
He taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses,
And taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes,
And ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him,
I'm not standing here alone.

Cause my daddy's always with me,
Even though we are apart
I know because he told me,
He'll forever be in my heart"

With that, her little hand reached up,
And lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat,
Beneath her favorite dress.

And from somewhere in the crowd of dads,
Her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter,
Who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love
of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
Doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down,
Staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft,
But its message clear and loud.

I love my daddy very much,
He's my shining star.
And if he could, he'd be here,
But heaven's just too far.

You see he was a fireman
And died just this past year
When airplanes hit the towers
And taught Americans to fear.

But sometimes when I close my eyes,
It's like he never went away."
And then she closed her eyes,
And saw him there that day.

And to her mother's amazement,
She witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children,
All starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them,
Who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,

They saw him at her side.
"I know you're with me Daddy,"
To the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers,
Of those once filled with doubt.

Not one in that room could explain it,
For each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,
Was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.

And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,
That heaven is never too far

They say it takes a minute to find a special person,
an hour to appreciate them,
a day to love them,
but then an entire life to forget them.

Monday, December 08, 2003

Are you Addicted to the Internet?


Newbie (21% - 40%)
You've started to learn that there is more to the internet than AOL. You've recovered from that email virus that wiped your hard drive and are thinking of getting DSL. You still tend to forward too many jokes and inspirational thoughts via email to your entire address book.

The Are you Addicted to the Internet? Quiz at Quiz Me!


You are a very calm and contemplative person. Others are drawn to your peaceful, nurturing nature.

Find out your color at Quiz Me!

discover your jack-o-lantern face @ quiz me

discover your inner candy heart @ quiz me

find your inner PIE @

discover what candy you are @ quiz me
The Completely Pointless Personality Quiz
The Completely Pointless Personality Quiz

Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!
Words Women Use...

FINE ~ This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES ~ This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it's an even trade.

NOTHING ~ If you ask her what is wrong and she says NOTHING, this means something and you should be on your toes. NOTHING is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last FIVE MINUTES and end with the word FINE.

GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows) ~ This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over NOTHING and will end with the word FINE.

GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows) ~ This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by NOTHING and FINE and she will talk to you in about FIVE MINUTES when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH ~ This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over NOTHING.

SOFT SIGH ~ Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY ~ This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go ahead." At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO ~ This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."

THANKS ~ A woman is thanking you. Do not faint; just say "you're welcome."

THANKS A LOT ~ This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."
Quiz Me
christy bell goh was
a Beloved Travel Agent
in a past life.

Discover your past lives @ Quiz Me

no wonder i'm stuck on my destiny...

Friday, December 05, 2003

tori amos - bliss

Father, I killed my monkey
I let it out to
Taste the sweet of spring
Wonder if I will wander out
Test my tether to
See if I'm still free
From you

Steady as it comes
Right down
To you
I've said it all
So maybe we're a Bliss
Of another kind

Lately, I"m in to circuitry
What it means to be
Made of you but not enough for you
And I wonder if
You can bilocate is that
What I taste
Your supernova juice
You know it's true I"m part of you

Steady as it comes
Right down
To you
I've said it all
So maybe we're a Bliss
Of another kind

Steady as it comes
Right down to you
I've said it all
So maybe you've a four horse engine
With a power drive
A hot kachina who wants into mine
Take it with your terracide

Steady as it comes
Right down
To you
I've said it all
I said a Bliss
Of another kind
I said a Bliss
Of another kind
I said a Bliss
Of another kind
So maybe we're a Bliss
A Bliss of
A Bliss of A Bliss of We're a Bliss
Of another kind

A Little Story

Sometimes we spend time asking who is
responsible or who to blame, whether in a
relationship, in a job or with the people we
know. We miss out some warmth in human
relationship to give each other support.
Treasure what you have. Just a little story for

A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of
marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy
was the apple of their eyes. When the boy was
around two years old, one morning the husband
saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for work
so he asked the wife to cap the bottle and keep
it in the cupboard. The mother, preoccupied in
the kitchen totally forgot the matter. The boy
playfully went to the medicine bottle and,
fascinated with its color, drank it all. It
happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for
adults in small dosages. When the child showed
signs of poisoning the mother took him to the
hospital,where he died. The mother was stunned.
She was terrified how to face her husband. When
the distraught father came to the hospital and
saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and
uttered just four words.


1. What were the four words?
2. What is the implication of this story?

Check with the answers only after you have tried
to come up with your own.

Please scroll down.


The husband just said " I Love You Darling ".
The husband's totally unexpected reaction is
proactive behavior. He is indeed a genius in
human relationships. The child is dead. He can
never be brought back to life. There is no point
in finding fault with the mother. She had also
lost her only child. What she needed at that
moment was consolation and sympathy from the
husband. That is what he gave her. If everyone
can look at life with this kind of perspective,
there would be much fewer problems in the world.
To be happy with a man you must understand him a
lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman you must understand her
a lot and love her with all your heart.

"A journey of a thousand miles, begins with a
single step." Take off all your envies,
jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and
fears AND you will find things are actually not
so difficult as you think."

"There are many beautiful, charming and
wonderful men and women here on earth, it's just
a matter of who you get to meet along the way
and who you choose to end up with for the rest
of your life.

"Love has its own time, season and reason. You
can't ask for it to stay. You can only embrace
it when it comes and be glad that for a moment
in your life, it was yours.

Monday, November 24, 2003

First Night Experience

Once upon a time in Singapore, there lived a happy couple, Mr. & Mrs. Ng with their 3 lovely daughters, Elaine, Ena & Ella

The 3 daughters were brought up in a prim and proper way and when they reached 20, they were still virgins. Years assed, and it was time to get them married. So, the parents found them the most suitable "leng chais" (handsome guys). They got married and were preparing to set off on their honeymoon.

As 'concerned' parents, Mr. & Mrs. Ng were curious about their daughters' first-night experience. So, before the daughters went on their respective honeymoons, Mrs. Ng told them ...."Your father and I want to know about your 1st night encounters and whether you are satisfied. Write a letter to us, but as not to raise your husbands' curiosity... you all must use a code-name to describe your experiences". So, the excited daughters were off.

A week passed, Mr. & Mrs. Ng got the first letter. It was from Elaine. They opened the letter and found the word STANDARD CHARTERED. They immediately took the newspaper and looked for the Standard Chartered advertisement. "Ah! here it is!", exclaimed Mr Ng. The motto for Standard Chartered was ... "BIG, STONG & FRIENDLY". Mrs. & Mrs. Ng were happy.

A week later, they got another letter. This time it was from Ena.The content was simple. "NESCAFE". So, again they took the newspaper and looked for the Nescafe ad. "Ah! here it is. 'NESCAFE: PLEASURE TILL THE LAST DROP'. Mr. & Mrs. Ng jumped in joy.

Another week passed. A month passed. And another. There was still no letter from Ella. The Ngs became worried. Finally, the letter came. It was scribbled and could hardly be read, but Mrs. Ng managed to figure it out. The code-name was "SINGAPORE AIRLINES".

Why Singapore Airlines? Mr. Ng rushed to the nearest store and gota newspaper. He flipped the pages frantically. "Ah! Here it is!" Mrs. Ng grabbed the page and read aloud. Before she could finish ... THUMP!!!... she fell off her chair.

The motto was ... "7 TIMES A WEEK. 4 TO 6 TIMES A DAY. NON-STOP".

Sunday, November 16, 2003

The Old Phone

When I was quite young, my father had one of the first telephones in our neighborhood. I remember the polished, old case fastened to the wall. The shiny receiver hung on the side of the box. I was too little to reach the telephone, but used to listen with fascination when my mother talked to it.

Then I discovered that somewhere inside the wonderful device lived an amazing person. Her name was "Information Please" and there was nothing she did not know. Information Please could supply anyone's number and the correct time. My personal experience with the genie-in-a-bottle came one day while my mother was visiting a neighbor.

Amusing myself at the tool bench in the basement, I whacked my finger with a hammer, the pain was terrible, but there seemed no point in crying because there was no one home to give sympathy.

I walked around the house sucking my throbbing finger, finally arriving at the stairway. The telephone! Quickly, I ran for the footstool in the parlor and dragged it to the landing. Climbing up, I unhooked the receiver in the parlor and held it to my ear. "Information, please" I said into the mouthpiece just above my head.

A click or two and a small clear voice spoke into my ear.


"I hurt my finger..." I wailed into the phone, the tears came readily enough now that I had an audience.

"Isn't your mother home?" came the question.

"Nobody's home but me," I blubbered.

"Are you bleeding?" the voice asked.

"No," I ! replied. "I hit my finger with the hammer and it hurts."

"Can you open the icebox?" she asked.

I said I could.

"Then chip off a little bit of ice and hold it to your finger," said the voice.

After that, I called "Information Please" for everything.

I asked her for help with my geography, and she told me where Philadelphia was. She helped me with my math. She told me my pet chipmunk that I had caught in the park just the day before, would eat fruit and nuts.

Then, there was the time Petey, our pet canary, died. I called, Information Please," and told her the sad story. She listened, and then said things grown-ups say to soothe a child. But I was not consoled.

I asked her, "Why is it that birds should sing so beautifully and bring joy to all families, only to end up as a heap of feathers on the bottom of a cage?"

She must have sensed my deep concern, for she said quietly, "Paul, always remember that there are other worlds to sing in."

Somehow I felt better.

Another day I was on the telephone, "Information Please."

"Information," said in the now familiar voice.

"How do I spell fix?" I asked.

All this took place in a small town in the Pacific Northwest.

When I was nine years old, we moved across the country to Boston. I missed my friend very much. "Information Please" belonged in that old wooden box back home and I somehow never thought of trying the shiny new phone that sat on the table in the hall. As I grew into my teens, the memories of those childhood conversations never really left me.

Often, in moments of doubt and perplexity I would recall the serene sense of security I had then. I appreciated now how patient, understanding, and kind she was to have spent her time on a little boy.

A few years later, on my way west to college, my plane put down in Seattle. I had about a half-hour or so between planes. I spent 15 minutes or so on the phone with my sister, who lived there now. Then without thinking what I was doing, I dialed my hometown operator and said, "Information Please."

Miraculously, I heard the small, clear voice I knew so well.


I hadn't planned this, but I heard myself saying, "Could you please tell me how to spell fix?"

There was a long pause. Then came the soft spoken answer, "I guess your finger must have healed by now."

I laughed, "So it's really you," I said. "I wonder if you have any idea how much you meant to me during that time?"

I wonder," she said, "if you know how much your call meant to me. I never had any children and I used to look forward to your calls."

I told her how often I had thought of her over the years and I asked if I could call her again when I came back to visit my sister.

"Please do", she said. "Just ask for Sally."

Three months later I was back in Seattle. A different voice answered, "Information."

I asked for Sally.

"Are you a friend?" she said.

"Yes, a very old friend," I answered.

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this," she said. "Sally had been working part-time the last few years because she was sick. She died five weeks ago."

Before I could hang up she said, "Wait a minute, did you say your name was Paul?"

"Yes." I answered.

"Well, Sally left a message for you. She wrote it down in case you called. Let me read it to you."

The note said, "Tell him there are other worlds to sing in. He'll know what I mean."

I thanked her and hung up. I knew what Sally meant.

Never underestimate the impression you may make on others. Whose life have you touched today?

Friday, November 14, 2003

Friends and Best Friends

Friend: calls your parents by mr. and mrs.
Best friend: calls your parents dad and mom.

Friend: has never seen you cry
Best friend: has always had the best shoulder to cry on

Friend: never asks for anything to eat or drink
Best friend: opens the fridge and makes herself at home

Friend: asks you to write down your number.
Best friend: they ask you for their number
(cuz they can't remember it)

Friend: borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
Best friend: has a closet full of your stuff

Friend: only knows a few things about you
Best friend: could write a biography on your life story

Friend: will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing
Best friend: will always go with you

Friend: would delete this letter
Best friend: will send this back to me and all of their online buddies

Wednesday, November 12, 2003


Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor fucking 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the traveling freak show.

Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send his email to $1000? How stupid are you? Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every Playboy Bunny in the magazine! What a bunch of fucking bullshit.

So basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Ceaser in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity.

Fuck them!

If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly fucking amusing. I've seen all the 'send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a Nickel from some omniscient being forwards about 90 times. I don't fucking care. Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own unpopularity.


Chain Letter Type 1:
(scroll down)

Make a wish!!!

Keep Scrolling

No, really, go on and make one!!!

Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!
Wish something else!!!

Not that, you pervert!!


Wasn't that fun? :)
Hope you made a great wish :)

Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure.

It's true! Because, THIS letter isn't like those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!! Here's how it goes:

*Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.

*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.

*Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life.

*Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter and will napalm your house. Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!

Chain Letter Type 2

Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund.

Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no way of counting the emails sent and this is all a complete load of bullshit. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds.

Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly.

Thanks again!!

Chain Letter Type 3

Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as many sad pricks with nothing better to do.

So this is how it works... Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:

*Bizarre Horror Story #1
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died.

Now forward this to everyone that you know otherwise you'll find all your knickers missing tomorrow morning!

Thursday, November 06, 2003

Advice For Women

1. Don't imagine you can change a man unless he's in diapers.

2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.

3. If they put a man on the moon -- they should be able to put them all up there.

4. Never let your man's mind wander -- it's too little to be out alone.

5. Go for younger men. You might as well, they never mature anyway.

6. Men are all the same -- they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.

7. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

8. Women don't make fools of men -- most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

9. Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it.

10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.

14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.

15. Sadly, all men are created equal.
The Animal Test

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In the process of courtship, the approach that would make you feel irresistable is straight-forward, just tell you he/she loves you.

The impression you would like to give to your lover is stylish.

You don't like it when your partner is emotional and/or too moody; and you don't know how to please him/her.

The kind of relationship you would like to build with your partner is one that you care not only about the present but also the future with your partner, a long-lasting relationship that you can grow with.

You can never be stabilized; actually, you are not suitable for marriage and you don't want to make committment.

You think of marriage as a precious thing. Once you get married, you'll treasure it and your partner very much.

At this moment, you are quite self-centered; you think of love as something you can get and trash anytime you want.

Take the Animal Romance Test

so so true O_0

Tuesday, November 04, 2003

Think Positive!!

This is nice - finding positive out of every negative - which we don't always manage to do.

1. For the husband who snores all night, because he is at home asleep with me and not with someone else.

2. For my teenage daughter who is complaining about doing dishes, because that means she is at home & not on the streets.

3. For the taxes that I pay because it means that I am employed.

4. For the mess to clean after a party because it means that I have been surrounded by friends.

5. For the clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I have enough to eat.

6. For my shadow that watches me work because it means I am out in the sunshine.

7. For a floor that needs mopping, and windows that need cleaning because it means I have a home.

8. For all the complaining I hear about the government because it means that we have freedom of speech.

9. For the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot because it means I am capable of walking and that I have been blessed with transportation.

10. For the noise I have to bear from my neighbours because it means that I can hear.

11. For the pile of laundry and ironing because it means I have clothes to wear.

12. For weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day because it means I have been capable of working hard.

13. For the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours because it means that I am stilll alive.

AND FINALLY ....... for received personal and meaningful forwarded e-mails because it means I have friends who are thinking of me.

Monday, November 03, 2003

Upgrading System

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from BOYFRIEND 5.0 to HUSBAND 1.0 and noticed a slowing in the overall performance, particularly in the FLOWER and JEWELRY
applications that had operated flawlessly under BOYFRIEND 5.0.

In addition, HUSBAND 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as
ROMANCE 9.5 and PERSONAL ATTENTION 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NHL 3.0. Now CONVERSATION 8.0 no longer runs, and HOUSE
CLEANING 2.6 always crashes the system. I've tried running NAGGING 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Desperate in Detroit



Dear Desperate,

Keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 was designed as an entertainment package.
Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try entering the command C:\I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download TEARS 6.2 before installing GUILT 3.0. If all works as
designed, Husband 1.0 should again automatically run the applications: JEWELRY
2.0 and FLOWERS 3.5. But remember, overuse can cause HUSBAND 1.0 to default
to GRUMPY SILENCE 2.5; HAPPY HOUR 7.0 or BEER 6.1. Incidentally, BEER 6.1 is a
very bad program as it automatically creates an upgraded SNORING LOUDLY file.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install MOTHER-IN-LAW 1.0 or re-install another
BOYFRIEND program. These are not supported applications and will crash HUSBAND 1.0.

In summary, HUSBAND 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider

additional software to improve memory and hard drive performance. I

personally recommend HOT FOOD 3.0 and LINGERIE 6.9.

Good Luck,

Tech Support

Sunday, October 26, 2003


A woman goes into a pet shop looking for a parrot. The assistant shows her a beautiful African Grey parrot, What about this one, Madam? A beautiful bird, I'm sure you'll agree, and it's an absolute steal at only �0. Why is it so cheap? the woman asks. Well, replies the assistant, it used to live in a brothel and as a resultit's language is a touch fruity!.Oh, I don't mind that, said the woman, making her mind up, I'm broad minded and it'll be a laugh having a profane parrot. So she buys the parrot and takes him home. Once safely in his new home, the parrot looks around and squawks at the woman, F **k me, a new brothel and a new madam!,

I'm not a Madam and this isn't a brothel says the woman indignantly. A little later the woman's two teenage daughters arrive home. A new brothel, a new madam, and now new prostitutes, says the parrot when he sees the daughters. Mum, tell your parrot to shut up, were not prostitutes complained the girls but they all see the funny side and have a laugh at their new pet. A short while later, the woman's husband comes home and the parrot says, Well F**k me, a new brothel, a new madam, new whores, but the same old clients. How ya doin Andy?

Friday, October 24, 2003

Eve 6 - Think Twice (nothing reflective... just that the tune is nice (",))

When all is said and done
And dead does he love you
The way that I do

Beathing in lighting
Tonight's fighting
I feel the hurt so physical

Think twice before you touch my girl
Come around I'll let you feel the burn
Think twice before you touch my girl
Come around come around no more
Think twice before you touch my girl
Come around I'll let you feel the burn
Think twice before you touch my girl
Come around no more

She spreads her love
She burns me up
I can't let go
I can't get out
I've said enough
Enough by now
I can't let go
I can't get out

Wait till the day you finally see
I've been here waiting patiently

Crossing my fingers and my t's
She cried on my shoulder begging please

Think twice before you touch my girl
Come around I'll let you feel the burn
Think twice before you touch my girl
Come around come around no more
Think twice before you touch my girl
Come around I'll let you feel the burn
Think twice before you touch my girl
Come around no more

She spreads her love
She burns me up
I can't let go
I can't get out
I've said enough
Enough by now
I can't let go
I can't get out

What is it you really want
I'm tired of asking

You come wasted

When I showed up and he was there
I tried my best to grin and bear
And took the stairs but didn't stop at the street
And as we speak I'm going down

Cause she spread her love
And burnt me up
I can't let go
I can't get out
I've said enough
Enough by now
I can't let go
I can't get out

Think twice before you touch my girl
Come around I'll let you feel the burn
Think twice before you touch my girl
Come around come around no more
Think twice before you touch my girl
Come around I'll let you feel the burn
Think twice before you touch my girl
Come around no more
You are Form 0, Phoenix: The Eternal.

"And The Phoenix's cycle had reached
zenith, so he consumed himself in fire. He
emerged from his own ashes, to be forever

Some examples of the Phoenix Form are Quetzalcoatl
(Aztec), Shiva (Indian), and Ra-Atum
The Phoenix is associated with the concept of life,
the number 0, and the element of fire.
His sign is the eclipsed sun.

As a member of Form 0, you are a determined
individual. You tend to keep your sense of
optomism, even through tough times and have a
positive outlook on most situations. You have
a way of looking at going through life as a
journey that you can constantly learn from.
Phoenixes are the best friends to have because
they cheer people up easily.

Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
! You are most Like A Sapphire !
Dark, mysterious - but unforgettable. You have a
beauty. Delicate, and shy you try to stay away from
limelight but often your intelligence puts you in
at the
deep end. You're like a Sapphire, because, your
beauty is priceless.
You're intelligent, full of opinions, and not big-
headed about it all.
Sometimes you need to put yourself out there, as
you can be a bit shy.
Congratulations ... You're the mysterious gem
everybody wants to have and learn more about.

?? Which Precious Gem Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

?? Which Angel Or Demon Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla
Animalistic Horoscope

RED KANGAROO (Aries Mar 2 - Apr 19)
The kangaroo or "great foot" has an abundance of speed. His great feet with highly developed tendons allow an abundance of energy because of their self-supporting attitude. The kangaroo sets down an intuitive path for its young to follow, ensuring its growth. It has a nurturing tendency - supporting, fostering and encouraging its young. The kangaroo has a strong sense of family togetherness.


The red kangaroo woman is independent, optimistic and idealistic, with a strong faith in the future. She is capable of intense passion but is temperamental and likes freedom. Although loyal, she dislikes playing a secondary role to a man.


The red kangaroo man is faithful and idealistic. He dislikes flirtation and is both possessive and jealous. He is often intolerant, selfish and demanding, but can be sentimental. He is generous but not good at budgets.

HAIRY-NOSED WOMBAT (Taurus Apr 21 - May 21)

Placid wombats go about their business largely unseen, stubbornly digging large underground homes where they can go to escape their predators. Their tenacity means they don't give up on anything - wombats just keep digging until their goals are achieved. Being nocturnal feeders gives them an advantage, as most predators are sleeping when wombats are feeding.


The wombat woman usually has a friendly disposition and likes entertaining at home. She likes her partner to be dependable and a good provider. She has a mind of her own and is emotionally strong. She has a strong sense of beauty and can excel at decorating her home.


The wombat man is usually strong and masculine in his appearance, with a generous mouth and kindly eyes. He makes a good partner as he is loyal, considerate and romantic. He loves his home and children and likes to provide those special extras for his woman.

SUGAR GLIDER (Gemini May 22 - June 21)

Known for their timid nature, gliders must take a giant leap of faith as they parachute themselves into the great unknown, usually landing safely in the arms of their carefully chosen tree. In the darkness of the night and the silence of space, sugar gliders launch their way through life, trusting that the next tree will be there to catch them.


The sugar glider woman is often fickle and treats romance as a game. She has a wonderful imagination and can be lively and happy when it suits her mood. She has an appealing charm and is more practical than sentimental. She can be attracted to a man for his intellectual qualities,but then suddenly become bored. She is a thinker (and a very able one) and is often a career woman.


The sugar glider man is a good talker and, with his ready wit, shines socially. He is so unpredictable that his mood can change in a moment, and he has a tendency to become critical and irritable. One moment, he can be sullen and morose, the next, up in the clouds. His aims in life are > changeable and his instabilities are often his undoing. He is not known for being possessive or jealous. For him, variety is the spice of life.

KOALA (Cancer June 22 - July 23)

Koalas, with their firm grip on life, always know where they are going by being aware of the opportunities they are presented with. Koalas are very selective in the paths they take, and will foster only those directions that present the most enrichment. They choose their trees very carefully as the choice not only provides their source of food, but also their bed.


A koala woman is good at saving and likes to build upreserves of food or essentials for rainy days. She is motherly, protective and fond of her children and home. She is very imaginative, highly sensitive and easily hurt. Harsh words or criticism can wound her deeply and she will easily retreat into hertree.


The koala man is wary of strangers and will never confide his secrets to others. He loves his home and garden and has an affectionate and sentimental heart. He is usually very loyal, but even so, he can be fickle.

FRILL-NECKED LIZARD (Leo July 24 - Aug 23)

Lizards weave wonderful dreams of memories that have been long forgotten. They remember the dreamtime, when they ruled the earth. Lizards, when under threat, will let drop their tails as a defense mechanism ensuring their survival, butpeople will not let go of past issues and this will be their undoing.


The frill-necked lizard woman is usually popular, good looking and has a vibrant personality. She likes fine clothes and dressing up. She dislikes slovenly men and likes to feel proud of her partner. She loves going to dinner or to a show, and likes mixing with the best people, in the right places. She is intelligent and has a good sense of humour and is inclined to be independent. She has a soft heart, is usually sentimental, and has a weakness for flattery.


The frill-necked lizard man likes to be dominant, but he can be jealous and has quite a strong temper if annoyed. He can flirt and is often fickle, although he may not mean this at heart. He dislikes loneliness, and will look for fun and pleasure and for the types of people who will blend with his ego. He is loyal and affectionate and generous with his money. He is usually well built and is fond of sport.

ECHIDNA (Virgo Aug 24 - Sept 23)

The echidna is most likely to raise its spikes when someone gets too close; it needs it space. The little creature is so safely encased in his own comfort zone, he is afraid to allow anyone in. The moment it is threatened, it rolls itself into a ball so that nothing can harm - and it can't see the light.


An echidna woman likes a caring but not dominant partner. She can be practical and loving at the same time. She has an orderly and efficient mind and is usually well controlled, both mentally and emotionally. She is loyal and respects the truth. She is fond of books, writing, concerts, artistic entertainment, and arts and crafts.


The echidna man loves to work and is careful in his choice of partner. He frowns upon dramatic declarations of love and of flirtatious and empty affairs. He looks for an intelligent partner who will take an interest in family. He is loyal, decent and possessive, but is not usually jealous. He can be fairly strict with children but is always fair.

COCKATOO (Libra Sept 24 - Oct 23)

Cockatoos continually primp and preen their feathers to attract potential mates. It is also a reflection of their high self-esteem. Their open, friendly nature can be seen in their willingness to mix with others. Cockatoos are sometimes seen alone but, mostly, they spend time in large groups enjoying each other's company.


The Cockatoo woman likes to own lovely things - beautiful clothes, perfume, pictures, fresh flowers, candlelight and good music. She has a flair for socializing, and entertaining at home. Her home will be well cared for, clean and colourful in a quiet way, and she will surround herself with furniture that blends with her nature. She is usually highly intellectual, witty and charming. She is sentimental and affectionate, and does not like to work or live alone.


The Cockatoo man lacks driving ambition, but works for a comfortable, secure life. He is often "in love with love" and becomes confused between a good friendship and romance. He cannot live alone and must have someone to share his life and dreams with. He is fond of the art and literature and is very sociable, courteous and obliging. He will not willingly hurt anyone's feelings and he has a natural gentleness about him.

REDBACK SPIDER (Scorpio Oct 24 - Nov 22)

The redback spider ceaselessly weaves the web of life. It knows that as long as it remains active in pursuing life's goals, it will always be nourished by the universe. Its knowledge of the world and its energy is reflected by its ability to catchwhat it needs.


The redback spider woman has a strange glamour and penetrating eyes. On the surface she can be calm and poised, hiding her thoughts and emotions with great skill. She is possessive and has a natural interest in the opposite sex. She will be loyal and affectionate in a happy relationship, but hates weakness and looks for a strong partner in life. She can burn with jealousy, resentment and furious anger if her principles are put to the challenge. Her home is usually full of good taste, comfortable and very clean.


The redback spider man is extremely passionate. In his work, religious belief, politics, friendships and business relationships, he is intense and thorough. He is very energetic and perceptive and likes to probe tothe very roots of mysteries. He is intuitive and jealous in his personal and business life and will think nothing of pushing others out of his way if they should try to obstruct.

KOOKABURRA (Sagittarius Nov 23 - Dec 21)

The kookaburra's distinctive laughing call is contagious - it makes one feel like laughing along. It can stir up feelings of joy and of positive energy. When you hear a kookaburra laugh, remember to allow yourself to laugh as well, for laughter and joy are part of the very essence of our being.


The kookaburra woman is cheerful, optimistic and friendly. She is honest, confident and independent. She is not fussy about the house and is not one to slave in the kitchen. She likes drama and excitement, travel and the open countryside. She hates to feel possessed and tied down to routine. She likes good company, nice clothes, good food and wine. She is casual towards romance but, when really in love, will be loyal and affectionate.


The kookaburra man dislikes discipline and confined spaces. He is very optimistic, idealistic and intelligent. He likes a partner who will share his love of fun and adventure. He is not possessive, jealous or demanding, and likes to be free to come and go as he pleases. He is honest, open minded, easy to get on with, friendly and popular. He must have a challenging interest in his life or else he will become bored and restless.

GOANNA (Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 20)

Goannas are forever curious about their surroundings. They calmly saunter along using their powerful body and legs to climb trees and rocks as they poke their noses into all manners of mischief. But should goannas feel there is danger about, they'll make a speedy retreat.


The goanna woman can be icy or charming; either way, she is sensible, determined, clever and superior. She makes a particularly good career woman - she's ambitious, and looks for security, so she will work hard to climb the ladder of success. She excels at managing the household chores and the budget and makes a caring mother, but can be a little too strict with her children.


The goanna man is strong, dependable and very ambitious. He is often a loner, but not by choice. He rarely shows his feelings and many think he has a heart of stone. But he is innately shy and adopts a serious approach towards love.

EMU (Aquarius Jan 21 - Feb 19)

These great flightless birds forage attentively in family groups and pair off during the breeding season to prepare for new arrivals. Once the eggs are laid, the male assumes the motherly role of taking care of them and then the chicks, once they've hatched.


The emu woman is faithful when in love, but not ardent or emotional. She likes to be able to carry on with her own interests and mix with her friends as often as she likes. She will often work when married to get away from the confines of the home. She is interested in the future but not from a material angle. She is not a snob and will go out of her way to help friends in trouble, whether they are richor poor.


The emu man admires intelligence and hates to be possessed. He is kind and loyal and enjoys an interesting social life where he can mix with the type of people who match him intellectually. He has a modern outlook and fixed opinions. He would make a good scientist, inventor, pilot, social worker, writer, mental-health worker or teacher.

PLATYPUS (Pisces Feb 20 - Mar 20)

The platypus feeds at dusk and dawn, so it is not easily seen. If it senses an observer it will dive beneath the water. Though timid, it has the means to defend itself if it chooses.


The platypus woman is full of charm, is sometimes quite witty, demure and feminine. She adapts to circumstances and to other people's influences easily but she can be careless, secretive and deceptive. She can lose herself in her dream world and be oblivious to reality, so she requires someone who can protect her.


The platypus man is easily hurt, sensitive and needs plenty of encouragement. He dislikes criticism and arguments and can easily become moody or depressed. His interests lean towards the arts, but he would make a good doctor, chemist or welfare worker. He is happy in an environment where his sympathetic qualities are employed.

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

The Doll and the White Rose

Take time to appreciate what you have now....

On the last day before christmas, I hurried to go to the supermarket to buy the remaining of the gift I didn't manage to buy earlier. When I saw all the people there, I started to complain to myself : 'It is going to take forever here and I still have so many other place to go...' 'Christmas really is getting more and more annoying every year. How I wish I could just lie down, go to sleep and only wake up after it...' Nonetheless, I made my way to the toy section, and there I started to curse the prices, wondering if afterall kids really play with such expensive toys.

While looking in the toy section, I noticed a small boy of about 5 years old, pressing a doll against his chest. He kept on touching the hair of the doll and looked so sad. I wondered who was this doll for. Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him : 'Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?' The old lady replied : 'You know it that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.' Then she asked him to stay here for 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I started to walk toward him and I asked him who did he want to give this doll to.

'It is the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this christmas. She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.' I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus will bring it to her, afterall, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can not bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mother so that she can give it to her when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy say that Mummy will also go to see God very soon, so I thought that she could bring the doll with her to give it to my sister' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said : 'I told daddy to tell mummy not to go yet. I asked him to wait until I come back from the supermarket.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me:'I also want mummy to take this photo with her so that she will not forget me. I love my mummy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.' Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and took a few notes and said to the boy: 'What if we checked again, just in case if u have enough money?' 'Ok' he said. 'I hope that I have enough.'

I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll, and even some spare money. The little boy said : 'Thank you God for giving me enough money'
Then he looked at me and added : 'I asked yesterday before I slept for God to make sure I have enough money to buy this doll so that mummy can give it to my sister. He heard me'' I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mummy, but I didn't dare to ask God too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and the white rose. You know, my mummy loves white rose'

A few minutes later, the old lady came again and I left with my trolley. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article 2 days ago, which mentioned of a drunk man in a truck who hit a car where there was one young lady and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-assisting machine, because the young lady would not be able to get out of the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young lady had passed away. I couldn't stop myself and went to buy a bunch of white roses and I went to the mortuary where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wish before burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place crying, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that this little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to that day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk man had taken all this away from him.

Thursday, October 16, 2003

Some Quotes


No MaN Or WoMaN Is WoRth YouR TEaRS,
AnD ThE OnE WHO is,Won'T MaKE yOu CrY.....

JuSt BEcAusE SomEoNE dOEsN't LoVE YoU ThE Way YOu WAnt TheM TO,
DoESn't MeAN TheY thEY DoN't LoVe YoU WitH aLL ThEY HaVE...

A TrUe FrIeNd Is SoMeONE wHo rEAcHes FoR YoUr hANd

THe WorST wAy To MiSs SomEoNE iS tO Be SittINg
RiGhT bESIdE ThEM KnOWinG YoU CaN'T HaVe ThEM...

NeVeR FrOwN,EveN WhEN YoU ArE SAD,BeCaUSe YoU NeVer KnoW
WhO Is FaLLinG In LoVe With YouR sMile

BuT tO oNe PeRsOn YoU MaY bE ThE wORLD .....................................

DoN't WaStE YoUR TiME On A MaN/WoMaN,
WhO Isn't WiLLiNG tO WasTe ThEiR tImE On You...

MaYbE GoD WaNtS Us To MeeT A FeW WrOnG PeOPLe
BeFOrE MeeTiNg tHe RigHt OnE,
So ThaT WheN We FinaLLy MEet ThE PeRson,
We WiLL KnOw HoW To Be GrATefUL..

DoN't CrY BeCAuSE It iS OvER,SmILE BecAUsE It HAppENed.

ThErE's AlWaYS gOInG To bE pEOpLE tHAT hURt yOu
So wHAt yOU HaVe To DO iS KeEp On TRusTiNg

And jUsT Be MOre CarEfUL AboUt WhO YoU tRuSt nExT tIme ArOuNd..

KnOw whO YoU ARe BefORe YoU TrY AnD KnOw SoMeOnE ELSe
ANd ExPecT TheM To KnOw YOu...

DOn'T tRy So HaRd,ThE BesT ThIngS CoME
WhEn YoU LeasT ExPeCt TheM tO......

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

Rules From Men To Women

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

Crying is blackmail.

Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

You have enough clothes.

You have too many shoes.

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

Tree, Leaf And Wind

[Tree ]

The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at painting trees. Overtime I started to use a tree on the right hand corner as a trademark for all my watercolor paintings. I have dated 5 gals when I was in Pre-U. There's one gal who I love a lot but never dare go after her. She doesn't have a pretty face, doesn't have a good figure, doesn't have outstanding charm. She is just a very ordinary gal. I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent, like her frankness. Like her cuteness, like her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her is because I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match for me. I'm also afraid that after we are together all the good feelings will vanish. I'm also afraid other's gossips will hurt her. I felt that if she's my gal, she will be mine ultimately & I don't have to give up everything just for her. The last reason, made her accompany me for 3 years. She watch me chase after gals, and I have make her heart cry for 3 years.

She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very demanding director. When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!" before running off. The next day, her eyes was swollen like a walnut. I purposely didn't want to think about what causes her to cry but laugh at her the whole day. When everybody go back home, she was alone crying in the classroom. She didn't know that I returned from soccer training to get something. I watch her cry for an hour or so.

My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she's not the type that will start off the quarrel. But I still sided with my girlfriend. I shouted at her and her eyes was filled shocked. I didn't care about her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she still laugh & joke with me like nothing has ever happened. I know that she's very hurt but she didn't know that my heart ache is as bad as hers.

When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out. After going out for a day, I told her that I have something to tell her. She told me that coincidentally, she has something to tell me too. I told her about my break up and she told me about her getting together. I know whose the guy. He has been going after her for quite a while. A very cute guy full of energy, lively and interesting. His pursuit for her has been the talk of the school. I can't show her my heart ache but could only smile & congratulate her. When I reach home, the heart ache is so strong that I can't stand it. It's like a heavy weighted stone on my chest. I couldn't breathe. Wanted to shout but can't. Tears rolled down & I broke down & cry. How many times have I seen her cry for the man that doesn't acknowledge her presence too.

During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was send 10 days ago when I broke down and cry. I haven't read it since then. It says "Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"... ...


During Pre-U days, I like to collect leaves. Why? Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying on for so long it takes a lot of courage. During the 3 years of Pre-U I was on very close terms with a guy. Not BGR kind but as buddy kind. But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy. The sourness in the heart can't be describe by using a lemon. It's like 100 rotten sour lemon. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 mths. When they broke up, I hide my strong sense of happiness. But after a mth, he got together with another gal. I like him & I know he like me. But why won't he pursue me? Since he love me why he doesn't want to make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. Time after time, my heart was hurt. I begin to suspect that this is a one sided love. If he don't like he, why does he treat me so well. It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend. Liking a person is very heart wrenching. I can know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figure out. You can't expect me a gal to ask him right?

Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, love him. Hoping that one fine day, he will come & love me. It's like waiting for his phone call every night, wanting him to send me sms. I know that no matter how busy he is, he will make time for me. Because of this, I waited for him. The 3 years were the hardest to go through & I really want to give up. Sometimes, I wonder should I continue waiting. The pain and hurt, the dilemma accompany me for 3 years.

Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins to go after me. Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly. From outright rejection to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let him have a small footing in my heart. He's like a warm & gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tree. In the end, I realized that I didn't want to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know this wind will bring this badly battered leave far away & better land. Finally I left tree, but the tree only smile & didn't ask me to stay. Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay... ... ...


Because I like a gal called leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her, it was 1 mth after I transfer to the new school. I saw a petite person looking at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends looking at him. When he talks with gals there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like she likes to look at him. One day, she didn't appear. I felt something amissed. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accept the note. The next day, she appeared & pass me a note and left.

Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away.It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave tree.

I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me. Within 4 mths, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her.

Although I know she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope. Hoping that she will agree to me my girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked "what are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head". "Ah?" I couldn't believe my ears. "I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her door bell. During the moment when she opens the door. I hugged her tightly. Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay... ... ...

Its not easy to love someone at first, but after time you accept everything, ever aspect; every imperfection and flaw and you find that even if you could, you wouldn't want to change the person after all. Love does that to a person. Maybe some of us were wrong to believe that love was cruel, toying with our baser emotions and instincts. Maybe we just misunderstood what it truly meant.

If you love someone right now. Tell them you love them, before the wind blows them away like it did to the leaf.

The Leaf departs because of the Wind's unrelenting pursuit; or maybe twas because the Tree didn't ask her to stay...