Thursday, December 08, 2005

you're getting on my nerves... i'm evil i know.
let it vanish.
Pope Vs Ah Peh

About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that
all the Chinese had to leave Italy. Naturally there
was a big uproar from the Chinese community.

So the Pope made a deal. He would have a
religious debate with a member of the Chinese
community. If the Chinese win, they could stay. If
the Pope wins, the Chinese would leave.

The Chinese realized that they had no other
choice. So they picked a middle-aged man named
Ah Peh to represent them.

Ah Peh asked for one condition to be added to
the debate. "To make it more interesting", he
said, "neither side would be allowed to talk".

The Pope agreed. The day of the great debate
came. Ah Peh and the Pope sat opposite each
other for a full minute.

Then the Pope raised his hand and showed three
fingers. Ah Peh looked back at him and raised one
finger. The Pope waved his fingers in a circle
around his head. Ah Peh pointed to the ground at
where he sat.

The Pope pulled out a loaf and a glass of wine. Ah
Peh pull out an apple.

The Pope stood up and said: "I give up. This man
is too good. The Chinese can stay."

An hour later, the cardinals were all around The
Pope asking him what happened?. The Pope
said, "first I held up three fingers to represent
the holy trinity. He responded by holding up one
finger to remind me that there was still one God
common to both our religions."

"Then I waved my finger around me to show him
that God was all around us." He responded by
pointing to the ground and showing that God was
also right here with us."

"I pulled out the wine and loaf to show that God
absolves all sin. He showed me an apple to remind
us of the original sin. He had an answer for

What could I do?"

Meanwhile, the Chinese community had crowded
around Ah Peh. "What happened?" they asked.

Well," said Ah Peh, "First he indicated to me
that all Chinese had 3 days to get out of here. I
replied to him f*@k off and not one of us was
leaving." "Then he pointed that this whole city
would be cleared of Chinese. I showed him that we
are staying right here." "Yes, and then???" asked
the crowd. "I don't know", said Ah Peh, "He took
out his lunch, and I took out mine!!!"

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Qian Bian Chinese Jokes

Q1) Ah Mei's dad has 7 wives. The 5th and 7th are Africans. Guess a Chinese idiom.
A1) Wu Qi Ma Hei

Q2) There's a party in the forest. Who didn't get to eat the cake!?!
A2) GRASS because Cao Mei Dan Gao

Q3) Ah bao was murdered! However, the police quickly found the killer. Who was it?
A3) Ah Dou because Dou Sha Bao

Q4) Xiao Bai and Da Bai are bros. As Xiao Bai grows older, he looks more and more like his bro. Guess a Chinese idiom.
A4) Zhen Xiang Da Bai

Q5) Osama, Bush , Blair and Saddam play mahjong. Who will win first??
A5) Saddam Hussein because Saddam Hu Xian

Q6) What's the panda's 2 biggest wishes?
A6) i. Get rid of dark eyes ring
ii.Taking colour photo

Q7) Who will pick up the dumpling (ba zhang) on the floor?
A7) Xiang Long because Xiang Long Shi Ba Zhang

Q8) There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box. The Female pencil got pregnant!! Which Male pencil is responsible?
A8) The one without the rubber

Q9) Xiao Ming drinks milk to grow up. What does Da Ming drink?
A9) Alcohol because Jiu Yang Da Ming

Q10) Which brand of shampoo is the wealthiest?
A10) "Lux" Super Rich

Q11) What did Batman say when he fell down?
A11) Painful Sia... (Bian fu sia)

Q12) 'Baby no teeth'. Guess a chinese idiom
A(11) Pei Bi Wu Chi

Q(13) Who is the fastest man in the world?
A(13) 'Chao Chao' cos suo chao chao, chao chao dao