Kelvin
A woman had 8 children, all of them boys. So, one day a magazine sent a journalist to her house for an interview.
He asked her about the boys and what their names were; she said 'Kelvin'.
'Right', he said, 'what about that blond one over there?
'Kelvin', she said.
'Oh, and the tall one with the freckles?''Kelvin', she said.
'Well, and the little chubby one with the baseball?'
'Kelvin', she said.
'Are all your boys called Kelvin?' he asked, 'isn't that terribly complicated?'
'Not at all', she said, 'it makes everything very
easy, actually. When I shout: Kelvin, tea is ready!, they all come. When I say: Kelvin, it's time for bed!, they all go to bed.'
'I see. But what if you want only one of them?
'No problem.' she answers. 'Then I call them by their surnames'.

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Relatives
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

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Repeat
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

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Stupid
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time."
The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

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Beast
Husband and wife were in the midst of a violent quarrel, and hubby was losing his temper. "Be careful," he said to his wife. "You will bring out the beast in me." ...
"So what?" his wife shot back. "Who is afraid of a mouse?"