Friday, January 02, 2004

English Girl
A woman goes to England to attend a 2-week, company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip. The wife answers : "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?"
The husband laughs and says: "An English girl !!!" The woman kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "So, honey, how was the trip?"
"Very good, thank you."
"And, what happened to my present?"
"Which present?" She asked.
The one I asked for- the English girl!!"
"Oh, that," she said. "Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait a few months to see if it is a girl !!!"
Moral of the story: "Don't tempt a woman, they are too intelligent."

Scottish Girlfriend
A Scottish girlfriend is giving directions to her prospective boyfriend, who is coming to visit: "You come to the front door of the apartment complex. I am in Apartment 14 A . There is a big panel at the door. With your elbow, push button 14 A . I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow hit 14. When you get out I am on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell.
"Baby, that sounds easy, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?"
"Hamish Darling, you're not coming empty handed, are you?"

BAD NEWS ABOUT BEER
Yesterday, University scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men were fed 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:
1) Gained weight.
2) Talked excessively without making sense.
3) Became overly emotional.
4) Couldn't drive.
5) Failed to think rationally.
6) Argued over nothing.
7) Had to sit down while urinating.
8) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.

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