Minzy's 보건 Surgery

 23 Sep

the nurse called to check if i want to continue bringing more fridged milk. minzy seems to be able to drink it but she kept choking, and her breathing was irregular after drinking bm. she had no problems with formula. i guess it just means that i should give up feeding her bm... T_T they also suggested bringing some toys to hang over her bed. i actually asked about that previously because i saw some babies with toys and plushies at their side. at 1 month of corrected age, she should already be playing like other babies, and having fun, but yet she was tied up in nicu. i wonder if this period will have a toll on her development later on. sighs. wish i could be with her more often... in any case, when minzy is awake, she tends to be more more bored now so it would be great to have something to look at when she wakes up.

28 Sep

it was her surgery today. we received the call for us to reach at 650am since her surgery was at 8am. gg... thank goodness we managed to get the driver to come early to send us. in a way, going there in a car was better than public transport because it took less than 40mins when there's no jam, and you can't really expect a jam when you're traveling at 6am o_o|||

we got out at 6am and reached just a little before 7am. the nurse in charged briefed us on the surgery - on complicated cases and things that could happen if the surgery doesn't go well. it is quite scary actually, to have multiple surgeries again if it doesn't go well. it takes a toll on minzy each time she goes through surgery, due to the anaesthesia applied and the recovery post-surgery. i really hope this will be the last time.

after the debrief, i went in to see minzy.

minzy was quietly sleeping, amidst the loud crying of the baby just next to her. her pacifier sucking was so cute to watch <333

and then she managed to poke her arms out... wow. she was grabbing my finger whenever i tickled her palm. those little hands!!! awwww...

the calmness didn't last very long. she soon started to fuss. oops. shouldn't have woken her. although she quickly calmed down after that and the whole pattern just kept restarting.

i could only see her for about 30mins before they start to prepare her for the surgery. she got woken up then and started fussing a lot. by the time the nurses was done, she was completely woken up and they wheeled her out while she had her eyes wide opened. she had this look of 'what's happening and what's all this around me'. nampyeon was quick enough to whip out his phone to record all these, just when minzy was wheeled out.

in the waiting room, minzy started to cry and struggle. it was almost as if she knows that something bad was gonna happen. or she felt insecure in this strange lands. there were some other kids in the room as well and all of them just started to cry together T_T 

the nurse rewrapped her so that her hands were held in, and she quietened down. btw they seem to have overdid the bandage on her right leg, it looks like a huge cast...

you can see this look of real worry on her face. omg. i can't bear to send her in, but it was time to go in... oh minzy.. i hope you'll pull through...

the surgery was about 3hrs inclusive of preparation and anaesthesia, so we went out to have lunch in the meantime. it was about 9am, and nothing much was opened. we went to hyehwa station and came back again so that i could pump while we waited for the shops to open.

we stopped at this cafe mong's for brunch, and although the place looks dirty and rundown, the food was great! we were the first customers, even before the employees reached. there was no one when we were there lololol. still it was a good wait~

brunch set with ricotta cheese salad.

the breaf was really good! it was crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside, and while they made it out of this huge oven, it gave off such a lovely smell.

when we returned at 11am, the surgery wasn't over yet. we waited for a bit before we were called in, and the surgeon spoke with us.

he told us that the surgery went well. the intestines that's supposed to be connected was twice the size of the original but that's normal and it could be stitched still. there were a lot of adhesion due to the dirty stuff that came out when her intestines burst previously, so they spent some time cleaning those up, which was why it took longer than expected. minzy will be put too sleep for a few days so she does not feel too uncomfortable, or too much pain, as there will be a lot of gas and such post-surgery. she also won't be able to eat, since the food passing through might get stuck while the stitched zones are being healed, so she will be given iv drips instead. she will still pass motion in any case.

i went in to see my little bubble... and i was so heartbroken. she was struggling and so full of life just this morning, but now she was totally still. even though it's due to the anaesthesia not wearing off yet... i was so so scared as she didn't look very alive. her right eye was half-closed - i wonder if she struggled till the end since she seemed so worried before T_T

she looked so drained of blood, so greyish. i hate to end of the post with such a sullen note. hope she will recover well, and not get under the knife anymore. heart surgery, eye surgery, intestines surgery... 4 surgeries is more than enough for a baby that's barely 5 months old. please don't torture her again... T_T