I� sorry that I had to break up with you ___________(on the phone, by leaving a message on your answering machine while you were on vacation, writing you an email, or just not telling you at all.) and how that hurt you. I know with ___________ (complete, 100%, unfailing) certainty that I could never like you in that way. I would say that I� sorry that I ____________(led you on, screwed with your brain, treated you like crap, alienated your friends, had my friends harass you, cheated on you, decided I like the other guy, made you look like an idiot, kicked you in your face, or all of the above), well I would say I� sorry, but in my _____(black, cruel, little, inconsiderate, nonexistent) heart, I just really can� say that I wouldn� do it again if I were given the chance, and have fun doing it. I would like to take this time to say that while I do not believe you are _______ (a member of the male gender, a guy, having the male reproductive organs etc), I would like nothing more than to be ________(your best friend, your best friend, your best friend, your best friend, or your best friend who is just there to tell me I� pretty and give me an ego boost when I need it.) Please don� think that I _____________(am stringing you along, actually like you, actually care about you at all you subhuman filth, or want anything other than your soul) even if it may be true.
I still don� get why you are mad that I (led you on, screwed with your brain, treated you like crap, alienated your friends, had my friends harass you, cheated on you, decided I like the other guy, made you look like an idiot, kicked you in your face, or all of the above), because I didn� mean to�honest.
I would also like to __________(use, abuse, torture, manipulate) you for things such as (complimenting me, giving me advice on my current relationship which isn� with you, letting me practice for my face kicking competition, or my backstabbing heart ripping out and then stepping on it competition), and I� sure you will understand because you have ________ (no balls, no spine, no ability to treat me badly, not gotten over me yet).
I also don� get why you are upset that I am going out with him just __________ (2 weeks, 1 day, already have been) after you but _______(the other guy, the other guy who I swore I didn� like but now that I realize you are not a man I like, the guy you were paranoid of me leaving you for and I said I wouldn� but I guess I am now, anyone who will have my sorry ass). Yes, you are that forgettable.
I hope that you don� __________(hate, loathe, despise, refuse to talk to, give me a number and never refer to me by my name again only by my number, write a bitter and pissed off story about how I was a dirty wretch to you), although my _________(tiny, nonexistent, retarded, gorilla) brain still doesn� understand why you would hate me, even if I did (lead you on, screw with your brain, treat you like crap, alienate your friends, had my friends harass you, cheat on you, decide I like the other guy, made you look like an idiot, kicked you in your face, or all of the above), because you never really got mad before, even when I was treating you like________(filth, crap, a manslave, a soulless chump, you were subhuman), which totally makes no sense to me.
(its like mad libs, only different!)