Wednesday, February 07, 2007

how does it feel to be awake at the time you're supposed to be sleeping, worrying about that 2.5 marks you got taken away needlessly?
well, not just that.

for example,
the below average i.e. quiz.
the misinterpretation of my interview question.
running away from my internship talk and feeling like a thief afterwards.
not being able to contribute for my b.p. project.
being left out in my m.r. project.
passing by a person i really want to say hello to.
seeing someone pretending not to see you.
trying to agree to everything but finding that you can't accomplish anything.
finishing something fast and making lots of mistakes in it.
feeling like everyone's laughing at you.
feeling desperate.
feeling like running away from everything.
feeling like everyone shouldn't really believe in me.
letting everyone down.
that i can't keep up anymore. lagging behind. seeing the backs of people shrinking.
being someone you're not.
keeping up appearances.
having no one to understand.
being ashamed to talk about it.
tired, and yet unwilling to admit it. because you once said it. and so did you. and now, you.
as your face burns up, and you just want to shrink into nothingness as your eyes well up. time and again, you just can't help it.
not wanting anyone to notice.
wanting someone to notice.
having me giving up on myself.
and my stinking feet. smell of souring.
wanting to tear, but you can't afford to reapply that cream. what a joke.
having a mess on your table. ants crawling around, but too lazy to reorganise and clean up.
ants crawling around your bag, wherever you go.
blood spilling everytime you visit the loo.
blemishes on my face.
fats on my arms and tummy.
wanting to look good and slim down. but still continue to eat.
wanting to get something, yet don't want it at the same time.
mistreating someone who deserves better.

and erasing everything here.

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