i'm not fine

i realised that it really wasn't mr useless that i don't want to see... but it was just people.
people who knows about it but whom i'm not close to.
people who have a 99.9% tendency to ask 'how are you', but who will not be able to respond to 'i'm not fine'.
people who i have to lie and say 'i'm fine' because i don't really want to tell them why i'm not fine.
mostly, people who can't do anything about your situation other than offer words and looks of pity.

rather than that, i'd prefer talking and meeting people who don't know about it. at least they won't ask you 'how are you', in that awkwardly pitiful tone.

next time you want to ask someone who's been through shit, the answer is 'i'm not fine and you can't do anything about it so for god's sake just stop asking and get on with it'. unless, of course, you could really give a miracle and undo everything that's happened, stop pretending that you even care.