i'm on my 2nd day to recovery, sitting in my room with nothing much else to do except to sleep, eat, watch drama, do my homework... and the cycle repeats. so i thought i'll just blog about what happened. and also because i feel that i'm such a lucky person, that in a foreign country, there's still so many people i can depend on, and words can't express how fortunate i am.
the piles that i had have been torturing me for about 2 years, so it was a good thing it suddenly awoke and i am able to rid it at one go. the doctors in singapore kept saying that surgery won't help and that it will grow back again. say that to the korean doc? he just smiled and said that he has removed everything and it won't occur again. well of course, provided i could take care of myself enough.
so it actually happened when i was in class taking my test yesterday. and it happened just 10 minutes before the test was over. just when we handed in our papers i walked to the front and a student was pointing at the pool of blood saying 'teacher! there was someone bleeding here! do you know who sat there??' while i was trying to get tissues to wipe it off. it was actually quite embarrassing, but there was still things that i am really thankful for -
1) i was wearing black, like totally. and i had a black jacket with me. phew. imagine how totally scary it would have been if it was some other colors.
2) it happened just before the test ended. well actually i could say it has been flowing for some time but i only realised it towards the end. so i could still complete my test before i was struck with the horror.
3) friday is a holiday! so whatever happens, i wouldn't need to go back school the next day. way to go.
4) when i cleaned myself at the toilet there was actually no one coming in and out. or they might have been horrified to find the floor dripping with blood, or my drying my undies. urgh.
thinking that the blood would probably stop after a while, like always, i went off to the toilet to clean and borrowed a pad from a friend but it just seemed neverending. so i tried calling my teacher to ask for help but there was no answer. i then decided to head to the bookstore to get some more pads so i wouldn't be dripping all over. and on the way, i was really happy to see my teacher Lee Seung Ah (the teacher i most loved, who taught in my previous semester), so i explained my situation and she quickly took me to the nearest clinic.
there was a super long queue but we managed to cut it somehow since it was a pretty urgent situation. however, we were at the Internal Specialist clinic whilst my problem was external. and really fortunately, there was an External Specialist clinic just opposite where we were! seriously, gotta love the way they lay these shops. While the doctor at the Internal Specialist made a call over to explain my situation, i quickly made my way over. while all the time i was really drenched in my own pool of blood despite the huge stack of tissues i laid in.
the doctor quickly examined me and stuffed something in to stop the flow, but he said that an immediate surgery was needed as the piles had suddenly swell up and the i would be in danger if i don't remove it. considering i have already been losing blood for about 1.5 hours, i think the risk of me running dry would be a bigger danger. lol. so i had to agree. i had about half an hour before my surgery so i washed my clothes up and took lots of pictures. so this was when i'm still alive and kicking, and able to move around.
and the room i was in. it's so clean and pristine, like a hotel! hurhur. and i like the outpatient clothes. hoho. so lovely and comfy.
honestly it was quite scary. the nurse came in about 10mins before the surgery and injected some weird liquid up my bottom to clear my rectum. the feeling was horrible because everything felt like it wanted out yet you had to struggle to keep it in for a while before you let it out. and it definitely isn't fun to have people stuffing things up your arses every now and then. gwah.
so for a change, they decided to stuff needles into my hands. i got poked like crazy with this really big needle, and after they stuffed that needle, they had to move it around to make it hook onto something. gosh. still, pain in my arms/hands is still more bearable than pain up my ass.
so before the surgery they almost tore my butt apart by super strong taping of either sides to the bed, so that the hole can be clearly looked at. then they injected anaesthesia to make my lower part numb. whoever invented anaestheia made all surgery possible. THANK YOU.
so for about 30-40mins, i couldn't fall asleep but i just felt numb and i know there were cutting and slicings and whatnots going on down there. and i also remembered crying and grabbing on to the nearest nurse's hands. during the last few minutes when the anaesthesia began to wore off i swear i even screamed because i could feel all the pokings and stuff, and i pleaded to have more anaesthesia injected. of cos, for health reasons there's only a certain amount one can take in so i had to bear with it. and i had to also bear with the splitting pain underneath for the next few 3-4hours.
it was a good thing my teachers (with my current semester Teacher Kim Mi Jeong, a very interesting teacher that I think looks sort of like Rina. but i like her.) came over to visit because chatting with them helped to distract me from my pain. however due to some reason my eyes began to swell. they couldn't really find out what's the problem since i mentioned i wasn't allergic to anything. maybe i am allergic to something now. i still don't know what. may have been one of the injections i took. but i was injected with so many things i couldn't have known too.
then it was almost 530-6pm when 00 and Myeongseon dropped by. even though i looked absolutely shitty with my puffy eyes and frazzled hair i still received plenty of care and love. and it felt so good. dinner was porridge from Bonjuk 본죽, a franchised porridge restaurant in Korea, and i really like the porridge from there!! although i didn't really have any appetite (eating/drinking will result in external excretion, and god i don't wanna think about the pain), having 00 feed me and eating the super nice porridge made me feel quite glad and well-loved. they had to leave after that while i went to sleep, but because of the pain i couldn't really sleep well, so i tried to listen to the tv (too hard to watch with my puffy eyes) and hoped it would lull me to sleep. i couldn't really flip around much though since any movement seems to induce a new pain. but staying in the same position sort of made me numb. it was so confusing. oh and i think there were 2 other ladies who went in for operations after me. and they screamed for such a long time sometimes i can't tell if they are laughing or crying. scary.
i think i finally went to sleep when i realised that my tv was switched off as i awoke to the toilet. i swear i took half an hour just to get up, pee and get back, and i felt so dizzy when i got up i prayed hard i wouldn't faint. not very nice to be discovered lying in the toilet. x,x
in the morning around 7am, the doctor came to check on me and i was ready to be discharged. took some time to change since i had the bottle pinned to my arm, and i was still feeling weak. luckily by then 00 and Myeongseon came by again so i had some help bringing all the things down. the bill came up to about 980,000+won. which is actually slightly cheaper or about the same as the price i checked before in Singapore.
and i lied tucked in with pillows and blankets in the back of the car. and when i got my shoes put on ms jokingly said 'here, princess'. it was so funny.
even though i probably have to lie at home for 3 full days, it was still quite an experience for me. thinking back i wondered how things might have happened differently if i wasn't fortunate enough to have all these people around me. i would have bought the pads, sat in my lessons till 3 and fainted from the loss of blood. it would have been so disastrous. then if i didn't have any friends or guarantors around, i wonder how i could have gotten home carrying all the funny seats and medications i have in my weak state. and i even have a personal cook for dinner today. sometimes it's through all these incidents that you discover people who really care about you around. and that's what makes the whole experience so positive.
still, i'm not really looking forward to having to bear with the embarrassment of using the special seat while i'm on public transport, and wherever i'm sitting.................................