We called the hospital to check on a few things as well as Minzy's weight. she was 480g, but the doctor told us it may be due to water retention. she wasn't able to pee very well after the surgery and that might have caused the weight gain. there was nothing we could do except to monitor the recovery for now.
nampyeon bought handsfree pump so that it is easier for me to pump outside of home. MIL bought me some clothes. she said that i can wear them as pajamas but it clearly looks big enough for pregnant people. i guess she must have prepped it for my pregnancy but had to change her words now that i am no longer pregnant.
we finally settled on the cremation date as well. nampyeon was dragging this for very long because he was worried that there won't be any ashes left if we cremate the babies. he didn't want them to turn into nothing and he wanted their remains to be with us. he even said that we should take their urn when we go traveling so that the babies could travel and be with us. however, Linzy was sleeping on her left side and it looked somewhat melted when i see her and i wasn't so sure if the babies could remain in their current state when we send them off. nevertheless, we had no choice but to wait for 26 May for the cremation, and pile on the ice packs around the babies in the meantime to delay the decay. we feel so bad they have to be in a fridge but there was no other place we could put them to preserve them properly T_T
24 May
i've not cooked for a very long time, and i decided to make myself breakfast today. there were leftover buns that FIL didn't eat so i went ahead to have them.
Minzy gained another 10g (490g) today. I'm not sure if this is supposed to be good or bad since it is mostly because of water retention again. her blood pressure was also fluctuating. it seems that as long as it isn't too extreme, it doesn't seem too dangerous? everything was explained in korean and i had a hard time understanding the context sometimes.
we decided to go out to yongin streets to have some proper food.
2 pretty good restaurants closed in yongin - tanoshimi (sushi place with lots of free sides) and santome (franchise ramen shop). my legs were hurting just from a 10min walk but thankfully nampyeon managed to find a mala/chee cheong fun place! unfortunately... they do not sell chee cheong fun anymore. still, they at least have siew mai and xiao long bao, and taiwanese pancake, which was good enough to satisfy my sg food cravings...
25 May
we received good news that Minzy has finally stabilised her blood pressure and was able to eat again (by that they mean to feed her breastmilk). there was temporary relief as we were able to send Kinzy and Linzy properly now. I was so worried that Minzy might be taken away by her sisters. I kept having this horrible feeling that maybe the cremation was fated to be delayed so the sisters could go together. thankfully this was not so. please please please save Minzy...
at night, blewky decided to have a call. to be honest i was not exactly in the best state to have a video call. as it started to near the cremation day, my mood got more and more sensitive and i ended up crying in the toilet as i thought about kinzy and linzy. however, i did miss my friends and i have not seen them for so, so long. i went ahead with the call on zoom with the excuse that i was in the toilet (which was true, i was doing my betadine bath just after pumping) and i didn't know how to use zoom (which was also true, it was the first time i was using it). one of my friends knew what was happening to me and helped brushed off questions that put me in a difficult situation.
it was really great to hear all of them again, really. i tried my best to be as normal as possible and left early to prepare for my final farewell and the cremation tomorrow. i was sleepy, yes, but i think it was probably a result of too much tears.
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